Nate goes to the Far East

While my move to fantastic Somerville may be an exciting and brand new experience, I'd like to remind my readers who aren't familiar with my college acquaintances about one particular friend's move to Japan. Nate Averyt's journey to the Land of the Rising Sun is an amazing one. In his blog, Nate writes about and photographs the transition he made from the Western World to the East:

When last we left our hero, he had just gotten to his final destination in Higashiomi City in the Shiga prefecture. As it turns out though, Higashimoi City is a bit of a misnomer. It isn't an actual city, but a conglomerate of small neighboring cities that have decided to join together for administrative purposes. The name of my actual city is Aito, and prior to the merger was the second smallest city in the prefecture. It's very rural with a good part of the land taken up by rice fields. Lots of beautiful mountains though, covered in trees, and I'm told it looks very lovley when the leaves change. ~read more at: The Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show

Congratulations to Nate on your successful transition to Nippon life, and thanks for reading my blog.

That was a nice break, now back to business

I hate to come off as just another one of those Hummer-bashing know-nothings, but this time, it's personal. Nevermind that the Hummer is a gas-sucking behemoth that doesn't deserve an inch of road. Nevermind that the people who generally drive said Hummers aren't environmentally or socially concerned. How could they be if they continue to feed into the aging paradigm of American dependence on antiquated and harmful foreign energy sources? Let's focus on marketing. Have you seen the latest Hummer H3 commercial? You know the one I'm talking about. It starts as a giant monster is wantonly destroying a city. The monster runs into a giant robot doing the same thing, and the two of them fall in love. The robot impregnates the monster and they give birth to a little Hummer H3.

Are the folks at Hummer trying to tell us something? I hope this message doesn't go over too many peoples' heads, but the image of two monstrosities destroying an American city isn't exactly a positive one. Furthermore, the spawn of two monsters is the very image of what may one day lead to the actual destruction of America (see my previous post on American dependence on oil.) Though it may have been unintentional, this commercial illustrates what happens when the destructive forces of unenlightened greed (the monster) and reliance on outdated technology (the 50's era robot) collide. They spawn a little monster, something that, as the proud parents look on, has the potential to severely damage this country by fueling overconsumption and the gluttonous consumer culture we hold so dearly.

What sort of a lesson is this? Have we become so blinded by the "cool" factor that we are willing to overlook such a glaring slap in the face? This commercial only serves to advance the attitudes of greed, superiority, and absolute thinking that can in no way be considered progressive. I suppose as long as we keep buying into this kind of tripe, we'll never see any real progress. I can only hope to change the world, one blogger at a time.

Keep the faith, and check out Adbusters for more info on consumer culture and sustainability.

On a holiday. Far away. To stay.

Since it's labor day, and I'm marking several insignificant dates in my life, I think I'm going to take this post to a personal level. Enough about Iraq, the hurricane, gas prices, and the environment.

I spent some quality time yesterday talking to two famous former Oxfordians and Western College alums, Maggie Wichman and Dan Pribble. The three of us reminisced over twenty minutes or so about what we missed about southwest Ohio. The conversation started with my extreme craving for Skyline Chili, and moved deftly through subjects I never thought I would hear in Somerville, Mass. We spoke about Bruno's, SDS pizza, the word, "Y'all," the slow pace of life in Oxford, friendliness, and the Western Woods among other things. It was incredibly refreshing to hear people talk about the things I know and love with such familiarity. To have such luck as to randomly stumble across two people with whom I went to school at a little program in rural Ohio is absolutely amazing. I am thankful to know that they feel the same way about the differences between our home now and our home then.

It's in the numbers:

158: Days I have lived in Massachusetts
131: Blog posts since I began
55: Hours that I work per week
751: Miles from here to Oxford
2156: Photographs I have taken since I first came to Boston
4: Friends and relatives who have come to visit me so far
1: Dates I have been on since I have lived here
0: Women from here that I have actually wanted to date more than once
235: Visitors to this blog since I began tracking
25: Gallons of beer made (and drunk) since I began brewing
14: Width (in feet) of my new room
3530: The pointless total of all the preceding numbers

New Ideas:

Before I go to work, I want to run some ideas by everyone. First, I am thinking about splitting this blog into two or three separate ones. That way I can keep different sets of writing together with as little overlap as possible. So when you click on the link to my blog you'll get exactly what you're looking for, be it news commentary, personal narrative, or fiction. Second, I think I'm going to register www.cellophane.com for the primary site address. For those who know, "cellophane" is my favorite word. Finally, I think I'm going to start an entirely new blog which will feature my writings from class. Since I'm taking writing-intensive courses, why not get the jump on everyone by publishing my coursework myself? I think posting my papers to a blog will not only help add good content, but encourage me to write more proficiently since my audience will be wider. Let me know what you think.

Ad Nauseam:

Have you ever watched the CNN headline news channel program with Nancy Grace? If you, like me, didn't know about this woman, you're in luck. She currently hosts Nancy Grace: Closing Arguments on Court TV and Nancy Grace on CNN. She is possibly the most annoying woman on television. Watching her coverage of hurricane Katrina with "heartthrob" Anderson Cooper actually made me sick. With Nancy's face, big hair, flaring nostrils and all, tightly framed in one part of the screen, Anderson reports about what sacrifices he made in covering the catastrophe. He went on and on about it: "We slept in the van... we don't know where we're going... it's about getting the news to the people.." Meanwhile, Nancy kept interrupting him by repeating his name in that nasal tone of voice, over and over again until he shut up. At one point, I counted five times. "Anderson! Anderson! Anderson! Anderson! Anderson! Where are these people getting fresh water?" It was painful. This woman should not be watched, unless you need to induce vomiting.


Well that's my Labor Day post. I hope you enjoyed it's meandering logic, and I hope you stay in touch for a more intelligent article and more pictures coming later this week.

Dr. Neptune ..... away!

Do you ever listen to WKRP? (and other observations of an Ohioan in Massachusetts)

That's my favorite question. I hear it almost every time I tell people I'm from Cincinnati. They say, "Oh how cool! That's where WKRP is, right?" I sadly shake my head, "no." In fact, not only was that show filmed in Los Angeles, but there is no such radio station in Porkopolis. Then they ask, "What's Porkopolis?" And the five minute conversation clearing up all the misconceptions people have about Ohio begins. I release a heavy sigh and continue.

It's okay though, I don't mind explaining that Cincinnati is a real city of over 300,000 people, or that people drive vehicles other than tractors to work. Nor do I mind telling people that I have no idea how the corn is doing this year because I grew up in the suburbs, went to a seriously Catholic school, and studied film in college.

There seems to be a lot of misunderstanding about the way people live in the "flyover states." The first and most glaring error people make is in assuming that everyone in the Midwest is a raging conservative with a hard-on for the GOP. Not true. There are plenty of liberals - you just have to go to colleges and universities, and places where aging hippies have moved. Furthermore, there are actually smart people in these states. It just doesn't show on a national level when you hear election results on a state to state basis. When one hears that Ohio "voted a certain way," one has a tendency to assume that everyone in that state shares a common viewpoint. Again, untrue.

I have been blamed for the election of our current president. Seriously, I have told people I am from Ohio and received a not-so-pleasant response from the politically minded of the Boston area. They say, "Hey, thanks a lot for electing the worst president in history." My response has changed from adamant denial and comiseration, to outright apathy. I'm finished with telling people I didn't vote for Bush, and furthermore, that in a nation where hardly anyone even votes, the American electoral process is worthless anyway.

The most recognizable difference between Cincinnati and Boston (and everyone here will tell you this) is that people here are much much much colder. Hardly anyone acknowledges you as you walk down the street. No one thinks twice about ignoring everyone else around. In short, not very many people are actually genuinely friendly. In addition, the automobile is an even bigger status symbol here. Those who can afford to pay to have an expensive car, insure it, fuel it, and maintain it are looked upon by many with envy. In some cases, women I have met have been very turned off by the fact that I don't drive. These are women who otherwise would find me attractive, smart, and funny, but since I don't have a cool car to drive around, I'm suddenly not good enough. You may feel the urge to rush and correct me: "Oh that's not the way it is Jeff." I welcome correction, but until I see it with my own eyes, until I meet someone who a. wants to go out with me despite my non-driver stauts, and b. is actually friendly, smart, and attractive, I don't think I can belive that such a person exists here. I'm not in a bug hurry to date, though, so I don't feel terrible about it. I just don't cruise the bars like a vulture looking for prey - like many men up here do. My laid back Ohio style isn't conducive to meeting a lot of women, especially in a social climate such as this.

There are many good things about being from the buckeye state though. In my five months of living here, I have met several Ohio ex-pats who have come to the east coast just like me in search of a better life. It's nice to be able to talk about home with them - to wax nostalgic about Skyline Chili, the awful Cincinnati Bengals/Reds/any awful pro sports team, real barbecue, and how we all used to listen to WKRP. So if you talk to me, please keep an open mind. I can be very friendly and personable if I am treated the same way. Just remember not to assume that all Ohioans are Bush-lovin' gun-totin' corn-growin' bumpkins. And the next person who asks me about WKRP gets a new line of questioning about why "Cheers" isn't the way it is on TV, and where I can go to visit the set of "Boston Legal."

Complaints aside, I really do enjoy living here. It's a fantastic city with a lot to offer. I only wish it were easier to meet people without having to be a total douche-bag bar room predator with a slick BMW.

Be excited: adventures in archiving

You will never believe where this was taken. I realize that I'm repeating myself by bringing out two photos from road trips with Jill White within a few posts of one another, but I just liked this picture so much that I had to go forward with it. It was taken at "Ma and Pa's Antique Store" in (I think) Eaton, Indiana. Jill, if you'd like to chime in here with the correct town name, I'd be much obliged. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure the name started with an "E," so take your pick.

We were driving through this one stoplight town with nothing better to do when we happened upon this shop. Seeing as how the biggest thing in town seemed to be the local gas station, we thought this might be a great place to absorb some local color. We met Ma and Pa themselves, who boasted that they had been born in that town, were high school sweethearts, got married, and never left. There's the happy couple right now:

I simply cannot imagine living in the same town for my entire life like these two have. Even greater, I can't imagine being married to someone for that long. That is a level of commitment that you just don't see very often anymore.

We thanked them for their time and took their photo, but not before purchasing a few things, including the pink Stant mesh and foam trucker hat pictured at the top. We left and went on our way, but a funny thought hit me: I suppose if you collect enough junk and stay alive long enough to sell it as antiques, you can make a business out of virtually nothing. I'd categorize buying stock in a company like Ma and Pa's as an "ultra-long term investment."