Hands of Cellophane

Nate goes to the Far East

2005-09-13T18:56:00.000-04:00

While my move to fantastic Somerville may be an exciting and brand new experience, I'd like to remind my readers who aren't familiar with my college acquaintances about one particular friend's move to Japan. Nate Averyt's journey to the Land of the Rising Sun is an amazing one. In his blog, Nate writes about and photographs the transition he made from the Western World to the East:

When last we left our hero, he had just gotten to his final destination in Higashiomi City in the Shiga prefecture. As it turns out though, Higashimoi City is a bit of a misnomer. It isn't an actual city, but a conglomerate of small neighboring cities that have decided to join together for administrative purposes. The name of my actual city is Aito, and prior to the merger was the second smallest city in the prefecture. It's very rural with a good part of the land taken up by rice fields. Lots of beautiful mountains though, covered in trees, and I'm told it looks very lovley when the leaves change. ~read more at: The Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show

Congratulations to Nate on your successful transition to Nippon life, and thanks for reading my blog.

That was a nice break, now back to business

2005-09-12T19:45:00.000-04:00

I hate to come off as just another one of those Hummer-bashing know-nothings, but this time, it's personal. Nevermind that the Hummer is a gas-sucking behemoth that doesn't deserve an inch of road. Nevermind that the people who generally drive said Hummers aren't environmentally or socially concerned. How could they be if they continue to feed into the aging paradigm of American dependence on antiquated and harmful foreign energy sources? Let's focus on marketing. Have you seen the latest Hummer H3 commercial? You know the one I'm talking about. It starts as a giant monster is wantonly destroying a city. The monster runs into a giant robot doing the same thing, and the two of them fall in love. The robot impregnates the monster and they give birth to a little Hummer H3.

Are the folks at Hummer trying to tell us something? I hope this message doesn't go over too many peoples' heads, but the image of two monstrosities destroying an American city isn't exactly a positive one. Furthermore, the spawn of two monsters is the very image of what may one day lead to the actual destruction of America (see my previous post on American dependence on oil.) Though it may have been unintentional, this commercial illustrates what happens when the destructive forces of unenlightened greed (the monster) and reliance on outdated technology (the 50's era robot) collide. They spawn a little monster, something that, as the proud parents look on, has the potential to severely damage this country by fueling overconsumption and the gluttonous consumer culture we hold so dearly.

What sort of a lesson is this? Have we become so blinded by the "cool" factor that we are willing to overlook such a glaring slap in the face? This commercial only serves to advance the attitudes of greed, superiority, and absolute thinking that can in no way be considered progressive. I suppose as long as we keep buying into this kind of tripe, we'll never see any real progress. I can only hope to change the world, one blogger at a time.

Keep the faith, and check out Adbusters for more info on consumer culture and sustainability.

On a holiday. Far away. To stay.

2005-09-05T16:23:00.000-04:00

Since it's labor day, and I'm marking several insignificant dates in my life, I think I'm going to take this post to a personal level. Enough about Iraq, the hurricane, gas prices, and the environment.

I spent some quality time yesterday talking to two famous former Oxfordians and Western College alums, Maggie Wichman and Dan Pribble. The three of us reminisced over twenty minutes or so about what we missed about southwest Ohio. The conversation started with my extreme craving for Skyline Chili, and moved deftly through subjects I never thought I would hear in Somerville, Mass. We spoke about Bruno's, SDS pizza, the word, "Y'all," the slow pace of life in Oxford, friendliness, and the Western Woods among other things. It was incredibly refreshing to hear people talk about the things I know and love with such familiarity. To have such luck as to randomly stumble across two people with whom I went to school at a little program in rural Ohio is absolutely amazing. I am thankful to know that they feel the same way about the differences between our home now and our home then.

It's in the numbers:

158: Days I have lived in Massachusetts
131: Blog posts since I began
55: Hours that I work per week
751: Miles from here to Oxford
2156: Photographs I have taken since I first came to Boston
4: Friends and relatives who have come to visit me so far
1: Dates I have been on since I have lived here
0: Women from here that I have actually wanted to date more than once
235: Visitors to this blog since I began tracking
25: Gallons of beer made (and drunk) since I began brewing
14: Width (in feet) of my new room
3530: The pointless total of all the preceding numbers

New Ideas:

Before I go to work, I want to run some ideas by everyone. First, I am thinking about splitting this blog into two or three separate ones. That way I can keep different sets of writing together with as little overlap as possible. So when you click on the link to my blog you'll get exactly what you're looking for, be it news commentary, personal narrative, or fiction. Second, I think I'm going to register www.cellophane.com for the primary site address. For those who know, "cellophane" is my favorite word. Finally, I think I'm going to start an entirely new blog which will feature my writings from class. Since I'm taking writing-intensive courses, why not get the jump on everyone by publishing my coursework myself? I think posting my papers to a blog will not only help add good content, but encourage me to write more proficiently since my audience will be wider. Let me know what you think.

Ad Nauseam:

Have you ever watched the CNN headline news channel program with Nancy Grace? If you, like me, didn't know about this woman, you're in luck. She currently hosts Nancy Grace: Closing Arguments on Court TV and Nancy Grace on CNN. She is possibly the most annoying woman on television. Watching her coverage of hurricane Katrina with "heartthrob" Anderson Cooper actually made me sick. With Nancy's face, big hair, flaring nostrils and all, tightly framed in one part of the screen, Anderson reports about what sacrifices he made in covering the catastrophe. He went on and on about it: "We slept in the van... we don't know where we're going... it's about getting the news to the people.." Meanwhile, Nancy kept interrupting him by repeating his name in that nasal tone of voice, over and over again until he shut up. At one point, I counted five times. "Anderson! Anderson! Anderson! Anderson! Anderson! Where are these people getting fresh water?" It was painful. This woman should not be watched, unless you need to induce vomiting.

Well that's my Labor Day post. I hope you enjoyed it's meandering logic, and I hope you stay in touch for a more intelligent article and more pictures coming later this week.

Dr. Neptune ..... away!

Do you ever listen to WKRP? (and other observations of an Ohioan in Massachusetts)

2005-09-03T11:47:00.000-04:00

That's my favorite question. I hear it almost every time I tell people I'm from Cincinnati. They say, "Oh how cool! That's where WKRP is, right?" I sadly shake my head, "no." In fact, not only was that show filmed in Los Angeles, but there is no such radio station in Porkopolis. Then they ask, "What's Porkopolis?" And the five minute conversation clearing up all the misconceptions people have about Ohio begins. I release a heavy sigh and continue.

It's okay though, I don't mind explaining that Cincinnati is a real city of over 300,000 people, or that people drive vehicles other than tractors to work. Nor do I mind telling people that I have no idea how the corn is doing this year because I grew up in the suburbs, went to a seriously Catholic school, and studied film in college.

There seems to be a lot of misunderstanding about the way people live in the "flyover states." The first and most glaring error people make is in assuming that everyone in the Midwest is a raging conservative with a hard-on for the GOP. Not true. There are plenty of liberals - you just have to go to colleges and universities, and places where aging hippies have moved. Furthermore, there are actually smart people in these states. It just doesn't show on a national level when you hear election results on a state to state basis. When one hears that Ohio "voted a certain way," one has a tendency to assume that everyone in that state shares a common viewpoint. Again, untrue.

I have been blamed for the election of our current president. Seriously, I have told people I am from Ohio and received a not-so-pleasant response from the politically minded of the Boston area. They say, "Hey, thanks a lot for electing the worst president in history." My response has changed from adamant denial and comiseration, to outright apathy. I'm finished with telling people I didn't vote for Bush, and furthermore, that in a nation where hardly anyone even votes, the American electoral process is worthless anyway.

The most recognizable difference between Cincinnati and Boston (and everyone here will tell you this) is that people here are much much much colder. Hardly anyone acknowledges you as you walk down the street. No one thinks twice about ignoring everyone else around. In short, not very many people are actually genuinely friendly. In addition, the automobile is an even bigger status symbol here. Those who can afford to pay to have an expensive car, insure it, fuel it, and maintain it are looked upon by many with envy. In some cases, women I have met have been very turned off by the fact that I don't drive. These are women who otherwise would find me attractive, smart, and funny, but since I don't have a cool car to drive around, I'm suddenly not good enough. You may feel the urge to rush and correct me: "Oh that's not the way it is Jeff." I welcome correction, but until I see it with my own eyes, until I meet someone who a. wants to go out with me despite my non-driver stauts, and b. is actually friendly, smart, and attractive, I don't think I can belive that such a person exists here. I'm not in a bug hurry to date, though, so I don't feel terrible about it. I just don't cruise the bars like a vulture looking for prey - like many men up here do. My laid back Ohio style isn't conducive to meeting a lot of women, especially in a social climate such as this.

There are many good things about being from the buckeye state though. In my five months of living here, I have met several Ohio ex-pats who have come to the east coast just like me in search of a better life. It's nice to be able to talk about home with them - to wax nostalgic about Skyline Chili, the awful Cincinnati Bengals/Reds/any awful pro sports team, real barbecue, and how we all used to listen to WKRP. So if you talk to me, please keep an open mind. I can be very friendly and personable if I am treated the same way. Just remember not to assume that all Ohioans are Bush-lovin' gun-totin' corn-growin' bumpkins. And the next person who asks me about WKRP gets a new line of questioning about why "Cheers" isn't the way it is on TV, and where I can go to visit the set of "Boston Legal."

Complaints aside, I really do enjoy living here. It's a fantastic city with a lot to offer. I only wish it were easier to meet people without having to be a total douche-bag bar room predator with a slick BMW.

Be excited: adventures in archiving

2005-08-31T02:23:00.000-04:00

You will never believe where this was taken. I realize that I'm repeating myself by bringing out two photos from road trips with Jill White within a few posts of one another, but I just liked this picture so much that I had to go forward with it. It was taken at "Ma and Pa's Antique Store" in (I think) Eaton, Indiana. Jill, if you'd like to chime in here with the correct town name, I'd be much obliged. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure the name started with an "E," so take your pick.

We were driving through this one stoplight town with nothing better to do when we happened upon this shop. Seeing as how the biggest thing in town seemed to be the local gas station, we thought this might be a great place to absorb some local color. We met Ma and Pa themselves, who boasted that they had been born in that town, were high school sweethearts, got married, and never left. There's the happy couple right now:

I simply cannot imagine living in the same town for my entire life like these two have. Even greater, I can't imagine being married to someone for that long. That is a level of commitment that you just don't see very often anymore.

We thanked them for their time and took their photo, but not before purchasing a few things, including the pink Stant mesh and foam trucker hat pictured at the top. We left and went on our way, but a funny thought hit me: I suppose if you collect enough junk and stay alive long enough to sell it as antiques, you can make a business out of virtually nothing. I'd categorize buying stock in a company like Ma and Pa's as an "ultra-long term investment."

Missing Oxford? A response to a simple yet stunning comment

2005-08-30T11:09:00.000-04:00

Just a bit, anonymous. Just a bit. If I could live there and remain financially independent, I would, but those two circumstances seem mutually exclusive for someone who doesn't want to do menial labor and live in slum quality housing. Maybe when I become a famous writer I can move back to Oxford (or somewhere similar - maybe Burlington, Vermont) and write from there. The isolation, silence, and darkness are all great for creativity, but I wouldn't want to try to live a normal active life there unless I were a student at Miami, which I am not.

I think I miss the people in Oxford more than the town itself. I had some really great times there with people who are now scattered across the country in places like New York, Massachusetts, Texas, Illinois, and other parts of Ohio such as Kent, Columbus, and Cincinnati. Let's not forget Nate in Japan either.

Lately, I've been feeling a bit more reminiscent than usual about the "good old days" in Oxford. Summers filled with trips to Hueston Woods, College Corner, and Yellow Springs, (m)Eat Fest, frisbee tossing in deserted fields, hiking, biking, and bonding with the friends who stayed in town while everyone else disappeared.

Living in a new city has brought some of these emotions to the forefront of my mind, as I am faced with the reality of making mostly brand new friends, establishing support networks, and dealing with all new places. It's refreshing to live where I am, but I do get misty at times for that old place and time called Oxford, which I know no longer exists, at least in the same way as my memory holds it.

Thinking back on the time I had there, I realize what a confusing four years it really was. I had no idea what I was doing there. I had no real goals, no clear ambition, and a mind that was cracking, ready to shatter. While my time in the "city" of Oxford was wrought with mental turmoil, I did encounter a fantastic group of people who at one point in my life, I considered my whole world.

And now, I have moved on. I left nearly everyone behind as I made a dash for the East Coast. Since I made such a quick exit, I don't think I had enough time to really contemplate the seriousness of a move that would take me 751 miles from my home, and what it might mean for me as a person. Since my move to Boston, I have definitely grown. I have scrapped and saved to create from virtually nothing (I had less than $100 to my name when I moved) a life of financial independence here. Looking back, sometimes I can't believe it myself. In less than a month, I went from two-bit bartender at a mediocre Italian restaurant in Springdale, Ohio to assistant general manager at a 2 million dollar a year restaurant in Boston. Not only that, I have enrolled at Harvard University for fall term classes starting September 19th.

Often, as I walk down the streets of Somerville, I am struck by an awe-inspiring thought, "I live in Massachusetts." While this may not be so awe-inspiring for the approximately six and a half million other residents of the Commonwealth, it still blows my mind. It is even more impressive for me to say, "I'm going home," and for "home" to mean my little apartment just northwest of the great city of Boston, Mass. As I told my roommate, I don't think I'll ever get over the magnificence of this city. I really do love it, and I love living here.

But it's all those old feelings that still get to me sometimes. While I may live in a fantastic new city full of opportunity and new people, I still have a soft spot for Oxford, and the time that has become a quickly disintegrating past. As my friends continue to dissipate through the world, get married, and disappear, it becomes harder and harder to come to terms with the passing of all those good times. I suppose one of the hardest parts of being a human in a universe of constant change is realizing that you are powerless to stop time. All those things you once held dear will turn to dust and disappear. [That was unintentional poetry.] As the unstoppable march of time continues, our once strong memories of special times are chipped away to shards. All we can do is pick up those shards and build new memories with the pieces we have left.

I think the Brian puts the feelings into words quite nicely: "That place feels like the favorite pair of jeans, comfortable and familiar. But closer inspection is unsettling. The faces have changed, new buildings pop up and your friends’ house is no longer your friends’ house." more here. And be sure to check out his post on Metroblogging NYC on being home.

Thanks for the inspiring comment, Anonymous.

Update: Iraqi Constitution Accepted Despite Rumblings From Sunnis

2005-08-29T16:35:00.000-04:00

Amid concerns about the insertion of more troops into the Middle East, the constitution of Iraq was begrudgingly accepted by the temporary parliament, despite Sunni leaders' oppostion. The Sunnis fear that the Shia-Kurd proposal which favors federalism and excludes the supporters of the former Baath regime, Saddam's party, will deny them righs to political power and claims to resources. The Sunni leadership also admits fears of racial exclusion brought on by the current constitution.

President Bush is clueless as always: "Of course, there's disagreement," Bush said at his ranch in Crawford, Texas. "We're watching a political process unfold."

From his ranch in Crawford, Texas. It must be mighty terrifying on that ranch, sir. I'm sure you have your finger on the pulse of the nation from there.

He went on: "Terrorists will become more desperate, more despicable and more vicious," he said, while expressing confidence Iraq would continue to move toward democracy. more here.

As the October 15 vote approaches, tensions continue to mount between U.S. "peace-keeping" forces and insurgents who oppose the constitution. "The constitution will be defeated if two-thirds of voters in any three provinces reject the charter. Sunnis, though a minority in Iraq's overall population of 27 million, have the majority in at least four provinces." source: CNN. The situation doesn't look good from anywhere you stand. Though the transitional government did finish the constitution, there is still a mammoth task of building a working government from scratch still ahead. Let us also remember that if the constitution is defeated in October, the temporary government will be dissolved, and we'll start the whole escapade all over again.

While American news sources boast about the accomplishment of the constitution's finalization, foreign news sources are less than optimistic.

From the BBC in an article entitled, " Iraq charter a 'recipe for chaos:'"

Mr Moussa, of the Arab League, told the BBC's World Today programme: "I share the concerns of many Iraqis about the lack of consensus on the constitution." He said he was concerned that the draft text denies Iraq's "Arab identity" "I do not believe in this division between Shia and Sunni and Muslims and Christians and Arabs and Kurds," he said. "I don't buy this and I find in this a true recipe for chaos and perhaps a catastrophe in Iraq and around it."

Hold on to your seats, this is just getting interesting.

Canada becomes next world superpower?

2005-08-28T19:55:00.000-04:00

Remember that pesky oil crisis? Alberta seems to have it solved, at least for the time being:

"At Suncor Energy's Millennium oil sands project, just north of Fort McMurray, Alta., the unmistakable odour of black gold drifts up from the ground and hangs thick in the air. Everywhere around you, water pooled in footprints, tire ruts and potholes carries the telltale rainbow sheen of oil. "The smell of economic progress," jokes Brad Bellows, a spokesman for Suncor, playing host on a damp spring afternoon. But it's much more than that. It's the smell of raw power -- the kind that comes from having plenty of what the rest of the world can't live without. It's the smell of a resource locked in the ground for millions of years and which now has the potential to shape the future of a nation, for better or for worse." more here.

What does this mean for U.S. energy, and furthermore, for the war in Iraq? I think we can safely assume that the United States' economy is going to avoid collapse yet again, thanks to oil reserves in the sands of Alberta and possibly the Arctic. Are we just delaying the inevitable though? The answer is a resounding, 'yes.'

There is far too much pressure from environmentalist groups around the world, as well as nations supporting the Kyoto Protocol for U.S. energy companies to start seriously tearing up ANWR - that is, until we reach a breaking point. Right now, our leaders are content to wage a holy war in Iraq to guarantee continued petroleum production from the Middle East - an area of the world that is already thoroughly entrenched in the industry. In the coming years, I believe we can expect to see steadily rising oil prices spurred on by rapidly increasing demand for petroluem. But if there is so much oil in North American reserves, why should we be worried at all?

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

We should be worried about the world's oil supply not only from an economic standpoint (as my previous article on the matter suggests,) but from an environmental view. Though we may not run out of oil completely for some time, we will continue to face troubling environmental issues in the meantime. For example, we've all heard the news about how awful greenhouse gases are. If you didn't already know, a fair amount of these gases are produced normally by the flora and fauna of the planet. These gases, mainly carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrous oxide, are recycled by the environment in what is known as the carbon cycle. The natural occurrence of greenhouse gases is only a small portion of the total, however.

A staggering 82% of greenhouse gas is carbon dioxide produced by the burning of fossil fuels, namely petroleum. The environment we have came pre-packaged with a nice self-regulating system for greenhouse gases. Since 1850 or so, humanity has increased the exhaust of greenhouse gases beyond the regular limits for the environment. As a result, we have experienced a rapid rise in global average temperature - about 4 degrees celsius in the last 150 years. 4 degrees is a big change, kids. The last major ice age boasts only a 5 degree average drop, and we generally regard that period in our earth's history as a drastically altered state of the planet.

So what's four lousy degrees anyway? Four degrees is enough to start seriously melting the polar ice caps, contributing to rising sea levels, cause hurricanes to set new records for strength, and decrease agricultural productivity throughout the Northern hemisphere. Additionally, we should also be on the lookout for another "little ice age" as experienced by Europeans during the middle part of the seventeenth century.

The sad sad truth

Even as more and more of the polar ice caps continue to melt away, there appears to be little to no alarm in the media. A positive spin is put on the story about the melting of the Arctic ice, claiming that the melting may (and will, in my opinion) open up the fabled, "Northwest Passage." Though the articles about the passage mention the environmental problems caused by the melting of the Arctic, I don't think they properly convey the real danger of the situation. We also seem to forget the rapidly disappearing Antarctic, another harbinger of imminent disaster. *One side note: the use of the word, 'imminent' refers to a larger time scale. While 50 years may be a long time for an individual, it is a blink of an eye on a geologic level. In 50 years when we are facing the flooding of low-lying coastal areas of the world, maybe we'll pay more attention to global warming.

The really unfortunate part about the problem is that hardly anyone seems to be paying attention. We're all too busy worrying about our own little problems which amount to nothing on a universal scale to bother thinking *gasp* fifty years ahead. Besides, we are fighting a war on 'terror' with no end in sight and our blinders secured tightly.

Again, it's a problem with religion. Many supporters of fossil fuel use are also, surprise, Christians. The book of Genesis states that the world and all the creatures in it exist so that man can subjugate them, and use them to his own ends. While that is a great idea to get early peoples pumped up about farming and growing as a race, it's not such a wonderful principle to follow in the year 2005 when there are more than 6 billion of us on this rock. It's time we abandoned this antiquated idea for something a little less harmful to the only planet we have.

Wake up and smell the carbon dioxide

We need to realize that we are alone here, together. On this planet, there are a multitude of different peoples with different agendas. Though what may be important to people in one part of the world isn't important to those in other parts, we should realize that the envrionment is everybody's concern. Without a stable environment, what will we have left to fight for? When we collectively send this planet to hell, who will be around to care whether Iraq becomes an Islamic republic anyway? Of course, no one will. We will all be scorched to death by the sun, uninhibited by the ozone layer, frozen by another epic ice age, flooded and overcrowded, and generally chewed up and spat out by a planet that has simply had enough of us. No amount of praying will ever keep us from our demise as a race. God didn't step in to help out the tsunami victims in Indonesia, nor did he divinely intervene to save Iranians during a landslide in 1990, or hundreds of thousands of Chinese in an earthquake in 1976. Nor will any supernatural power intervene to save the planet as a whole when it begins to seriously degrade and become less habitable for humanity.

I echo my previous posts when I say again, we need to be concerned with what is happening in the world: on economic, political, and environmental levels. We need to be aware of the things our "elected" leaders are doing to condemn us to struggle and hardship. If we don't start to open our eyes to actual important issues, I think we as a human race don't deserve the planet we've been given. Perhaps if we stopped going to churches and started going to science classes; if we stopped watching "Party at the Palms" and started watching "Washington Week;" if we stopped reading Stephen King, and started reading Noam Chomsky... Perhaps we would be better off.

I suppose it may be too much to ask of a society that turns out in larger numbers to vote for an American Idol than an American president, that we pay attention to things like the environment, or global politics. Maybe when this earth recycles itself (and humanity with it,) the universe will see a new species rise to power. Perhaps that species will do a little better job as the dominant force on the planet. Then again, what do I care? Tommy Lee Goes to College is on, and I can't miss that.

One for the home town crowd

2005-08-28T11:38:00.000-04:00

Nestled in an alley between Church Street and High Street, Bruno's Pizza was the host to many shenanigans between 2000 and 2004. Sadly, this location no longer exists so when I go back to Oxford, good old Bruno's just won't be the same. At least Mac 'N Joe's will still be there (I hope.)

My thoughts have a tendency to wander

2005-08-26T10:03:00.000-04:00

A day trip to Antioch College in Yellow Springs, Ohio produced this scene. A year or so ago, Jill White and I drove to the college during the summer, and poked around the campus, which was beautifully tucked away in the woods. Among other oddities we found on the campus of the nearly abandoned school, we came across this hammock. Looking back on this photo reminds me very much of summers in Oxford: hot, lazy, quiet, and relaxing. I wonder if I'll ever go back...

Realizing it had been a while since my last post...

2005-08-25T14:04:00.000-04:00

As some may know, my dad was in town for a visit over this past weekend. As a result, I haven't been able to post with an adequate frequency, until now. Here's the update:

As of today, I am officially registered for classes at Harvard University. I begin class on September 19th, and I will be taking "A survey of publishing: from text to hypertext," and "History of Jazz: 1900 - 1945." These are both writing-intensive classes, so I am definitely excited to get back to some more serious academic writing.

In the meantime, I continue to work almost constantly. At about 55 hours per week, work is definitely a drag. But things are looking up. I just bottled the latest batch of beer yesterday, which brings my total to 107 bottles of beer on the wall (or rather, 107 bottles of beer in cases in the botton of my closet.) In about a week, my best batch yet will be ready for consumption.

Reading the news, I was struck by this odd little quote from a BBC article on the obesity problem in America: ""It really is time that we got our finger out and started making real changes." more here. I'm not sure where they had their fingers before, but I can take a guess. At the very least, we can only hope it wasn't a UFIA.

I am signing a lease today for the next year at my apartment in Somerville. It seems odd to say, especially since I wasn't sure when I moved if I was going to stay around after August. As it turned out, I met some really great people with whom I enjoy living and spending time. Plus I still have my job at the Joshua Tree/Sauce, so I figured, "why not?" To all those still living in Ohio, I send my condolences. I may some day return to the buckeye state, but not for at least another year or two, or however long it takes to finish at Harvard.

More photos and a longer post coming shortly - as soon as I can get home to upload.

War of the Worlds reaffirms my distaste for Steven Spielberg

2005-08-19T11:47:00.000-04:00

When I bought my $6.50 ticket to see the Cincinnati, Ohio native Steven Spielberg's version of War of the Worlds, I didn't hold much hope. I knew going in that I would be disappointed with the same things in which I am always dissapointed about Spielberg's work. I was almost prepared to accept the movie for what it is: a sensationalist escape mechanism, and leave it at that. But this film left me so unfulfilled that I could barely comprehend how it had failed to meet the incredibly low standards I had set for it.

If I am going to see a film in a theater, I usually go for something well-written, interesting, and thought provoking. For example, I just saw Born into Brothels, which was, although intellectually masturbatory, a pretty good film. I did a bit of research into the film, found out what it was about, who the director was, and so on. As a result, I found a film that I actually did enjoy seeing, although I was literally the only person in the theater, save for the projectionist. When I go to movies on a whim is when I begin to find trouble.

Last night was one of those, "I want to see a movie because I'm here, so what's playing right now" kind of nights. Since there wasn't anything else remotely interesting playing at that time, I bought my ticket to see Steven Spielberg's latest gaffe. First, let me explain my newfound irritation with Tom Cruise, the Scientologist extraordinaire and bona fide insane person. When you watch this movie, you can actually see the crazy in his eyes. Though he may be a talented actor, since that interview with Matt Lauer on the Today Show, I just can't get over what a complete whackjob is Tom Cruise. Looking back in his career, I should have seen the signs earlier, with his true-to-life performances in Eyes Wide Shut, Magnolia, and Top Gun.

But insanity aside, Cruise was acceptable as Ray Ferrier, the maverick gantry crane operator from New York. Not surprisingly, he fits well into the role of a loner slob absent parent, and his type-cast performance may hold to be the best part of the movie. Again, we have to forgive the crazy in favor of a good casting choice here.

And then it all went downhill

The film started out fairly well with the neat-o special effects and whatnot, but I feel as if the screenplay was missing something. It was missing a lot of something to be exact, and that something was actual content. It seemed like there was a lot of valuable information about character development, back story, side plots, etc. that was simply left out in favor of massive special effects and the banal but "tried and true" John Williams soundtrack. Like the strange relationship between Danny Elfman and Tim Burton, or David Lynch and Angelo Badalamenti, Steven Spielberg and John Williams have a great working friendship. Unlike Lynch and Badalamenti, and Elfman and Burton, though, Spielberg and Williams seem to produce work that is not surprisingly bland and recycled. Every time I watch a Spielberg movie with a Williams soundtrack, I feel like my time would be better spent shooting up with heroin because at least that would promise some new experiences.

The soundtrack wasn't all that was wrong with this film. As I mentioned, the movie lacked substance. There was only a minor hint of character development as Ray's son Robby became a sort of a 'hero' figure, but that good point is overshadowed by the fact that there was very little to establish him as a character to begin with. We only see him briefly, and his character is written with very little care and with much attention payed to stereotypes, including but not limited to "rebellious teen," "disenchanted with family," "Boston vs. New York," and "slacker." With the exception of Ray Ferrrier's [Cruise] weak transformation into a somewhat respectable father, this film is completely devoid of any substantive character development. As a result, I found myself hoping that Ray would get vaporized by the aliens as he ran from the tripods. It would have saved a lot of trouble and a lot of embarassment on the writer and director's parts.

Finally, realizing that the expensive sets, props, and CGI from Industrial Light and Magic are all just a bunch of crap that Spielberg and Lucas use to avoid making movies with actual content, I have one more criticism of the film, and even of the original story. Why was nothing explained? At the end of the film, the aliens just start dying for seemingly no reason. The narration suggests that microorganisms played a major role in destroying the great alien machines, but there is literally only ten seconds of exposition on that subject. With its final words, the film comes to a crashing halt with no purpose other than a trite religious sentiment.

Camera, from what looks like somewhere in Charlestown, shows downtown Boston in ruins, and the narrator speaks:

"From the moment the invaders arrived, breathed our air, ate, and drank, they were doomed. They were undone, destroyed, after all of man's weapons and devices had failed, by the tiniest creatures that God, in His wisdom, put upon this earth. By the toll of a billion deaths, man has earned his immunity, his right to survive among this planet's infinite organisms, and that right is ours against all challenges. For neither do men live nor die in vain. "

At least the explanation was a little more plausible than the one offered by the movie Signs. Still, to pull out religion in a film that had previously not mentioned it at all is a cheap shot, and it is evidence of the fact that Steven Spielberg will continue to be a whore to the consumer. I'm sure a lot of religious people went to see this film and were really touched by the sentiment expressed at the end of the movie. I wasn't. If it was going to be a religious movie, then I would have accepted it as it was. But to pull out the god card from nowhere at the end of the movie just because it sounds good is a pretty lame excuse for an ending. There is no closure! There is no substance! There is no point!

Finally, I think the book, and especially the film lack a good sense of irony. The fact that the aliens were destroyed by something so small, yet so powerful is ironic, but the film presented that aspect of the story so blandly and with such haste that any real sense of quality is lost in the sensationalist backdrop. If I were to end the story, we might see the last surviving humans on the planet fighting the last surviving alien machine. As the machine begins to break down and explode, the humans cheer their final victory. As they cheer, the last dead machine falls on them and kills them all, effectively finalizing the extermination of both races. Now that would be irony, and that, I might enjoy. Unfortunately as long as Spielberg keeps making gobs of cash with the same movie over and over again, we'll never see that kind of quality work from him. There are plenty of other talented directors out there anyway.

Support talented, substantive direction: See an independent film today!

A little help?

2005-08-16T22:35:00.000-04:00

So I have finally decided to break down and register a domain name. I don't know why it took me so long considering it's only $7 for a whole year. The trouble is, I can't seem to decide on what to register. That's where you come in. I know this blog has transformed since its creation, and that has caused some trouble for me in deciding what domain to pick. I'm not sure I want something as long as beantownblues.com, and jeffkurz.com seems a little too vague.

So I'm open to suggestions. What do you think? I want to register a domain this week, so let me know if you have any ideas.

Thanks,

Jeff

Western Democracy and Islam

2005-08-15T12:40:00.000-04:00

Many people believe that the democratic system that the Western world is forcing upon Iraq is completely inconsistent with the fundamental beliefs of Islam. This perception isn't entirely true. If you actually read the Koran and compare its teachings with the principles of Western democracy, you'll actually find that the two systems are surprisingly compatible. A fascinating article on the subject from a 1998 issue of Life Magazine can be found here.

With the deadline for the Iraqi constitution approaching, and the possibility of increased military presence in Iraq, the transitional government has found itself in the hot seat. Article 61 E of the transitional Iraqi constitution lays out said deadline, which, if not met, could lead the country (and US involvement) back to square one:

"If the referendum rejects the draft permanent constitution, the National Assembly shall be dissolved. Elections for a new National Assembly shall be held no later than 15 December 2005. The new National Assembly and new Iraqi Transitional Government shall then assume office no later than 31 December 2005, and shall continue to operate under this Law, except that the final deadlines for preparing a new draft may be changed to make it possible to draft a permanent constitution within a period not to exceed one year. The new National Assembly shall be entrusted with writing another draft permanent constitution. "

It seems that the problems the architects of the new constitution are having relate to the involvement of Islam in the state. The transitional constitution, which reads like an updated version of our own constitution, calls for Islam to be the official religion of the state. Hence the controversy over whether Western democracy is really compatible with Islam.

I don't think the problem is with the religion itself.

The fact of the matter is that democratic systems are indeed rooted in benevolent religious beliefs. The founders of this country realized that, and so we have a nation "under god." It is plain to see that if we dig deep into the fundamental principles of democracy and limited government based on common moral values, we can see a direct correlation between Christianity and Western democracy. Additionally, since Islam is also a benevolent religion based on similar tenets as Christianity, it follows that democracy should indeed be compatible there as well. But why isn't it working?

Though the religions themselves may be compatible with democracy, we should never forget that religion in essence is something entirely different from religion in practice. Those who practice a religion that is thousands of years old are bound to corrupt, misunderstand, and bastardize it to their individual needs. It is always dangerous to claim a divine mandate on a subject. You risk a great deal of trouble from those who hold an equal amount of stake in the opposing views.

Crusaders, inquisitors, imperialists, abortion clinic bombers, and airplane hijackers are all the same people. They just radically believe in radically different things. When you mix intense human passion with a "divine mandate" and thinking in absolutes, is it no surprise we have such violence in the world? One set of people believe that they are the 'chosen ones,' and that they are commanded by some god to destroy those who oppose them. This statement applies as much to radical fundamentalist Christians as it does to Al-Qaeda, a radical fundamentalist Muslim group. Where do we draw the line?

There is no right and wrong

These people should read more existential philosophy. If people only realized what fools they were making of themselves by crusading in the name of god... They might as well be crusading in the name of the Loch Ness monster. With such diametrically opposed yet inescapably intertwined viewpoints, each with a huge and passionate group of followers, it is obvious to see why we are at war. The war is only tangentially about oil. Though admittedly the quest for control of the Middle East's oil supply is a large and extremely important tangent, the main reason I see for which we are at war is power.

The leaders of our country can deny it all they want. This war is really about a struggle between two opposing religions, which is the prime reason we see so much dissent about the war. Not everyone in America is as committed to a holy war as our leaders would like. Fighting a war such as this isn't always the most popular idea anymore. Sure, back in the good old days of the eleventh century, kicking some Muslim ass seemed like a great idea. After centuries of bloody war, however, did we learn anything? Obviously not.

What we have on our hands is an extremely dangerous situation. Both sides of the conflict seem so thoroughly entrenched in their positions that it appears as though no practical end is in sight, despite what Dick Cheney would have you believe. While it may not be democracy itself that the Iraqi transitional government is struggling to accept, the Western influence is certainly a bitter pill to swallow. It's not about the government, its about god. As long as a god exists in a nation's constitution, there will be no end to war. Just as the Christian god "watches over" America in judgement, so too will the Muslim god partake in the dealings of the Iraqi people.

It seems like a no-win situation. If you take away god, the populace will lose faith in their great opiate. If you include god, you must include those who believe they are 'chosen,' and will do anything to defeat their foes. But when you take all the beliefs, all the politics, all the conflilct away, we're all still just people. Though we may not live the same way, we certainly all die just as easily. And anyway, who is going to care about all this in a billion years anyway?

Why reading just one side of the story is a bad idea

2005-08-14T20:53:00.000-04:00

Though CNN is a great source for mostly balanced news these days, we need to be careful when reading our news to take in all points of view. If you look closely at different news sources from around the world, you will find a great disparity in attention paid to various items. What may be important to one area of the world may not be as important to another. That's why it is crucial to investigate your news from many different vantage points before forming your own opinion. You may say, "that seems pretty obivous..." But unfortunately as I have observed, far too many people hold too much stake in the one-sided American news feeds like CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News.

Hello, McFly?

In case you forgot, there are a couple other countries in the world, and they have news agencies just as big and important as ours. Though America may be very important to the global economy and political climate (we have our filthy hands in everybody's business these days,) we are still just a ragamuffin little upstart of a country. We should be reminded every day that the population of these United States is only a small percentage of the world's population, and that the other six billion people in this world have lots of different opinions that cannot be ignored. After all, we live in a world whose politics, economy, and societies are converging rapidly. For a shining example, just look at the rapid growth of the European Union, now 25 nations strong and boasting a unified currency. There are even plans for the EU constitution to be finalized in 2006. If this is the worldwide trend, we need to gear up to a better understanding of the world around us or like my last post warned, we will be seriously left behind.

Exempli Gratis

One major world item to be watching is of course the crisis in the Middle East. We all know about the West's military involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan, and you've probably heard about Iran breaking the seals on its nuclear facilities in Tehran. But chances are, most Americans have only heard this story from one point of view. For those who haven't been keeping up to date, Iranian officials have seriously irked the West by re-opening their nuclear facilities in order to pursue civilian nuclear development. This has many Western nations in a buzz, especially after news that Iran is backing terrorist groups in Iraq.

Recently our dear leader stated with regard to the nuclear situation in Iran that, "All options are on the table." "All options" certainly includes the use of military force, Mr. Bush implied not so discreetly via video feed to an Israeli television station. This comment has provoked resistance from, notably, liberal German chancellor Gerhard Schroeder, who was very vocal in urging that the military option not be exercised, despite a not so wonderful public opinion of his work and criticism from the German right. If you read the story from the American point of view, you're getting just that: the American point of view. While it's great to read that one opinion on the subject, we have to remember all the other nations involved in the conflict. British PM Tony Blair was "cautious," and was quoted with respect to George Bush's position on the Iran nuclear talks: "What he [Bush] went on to say, and was very sensible too, is that nobody is talking about invasions of Iran or military action against Iran." Wait. Doesn't "All options are on the table" mean that military action is possible? Perhaps Mr. Blair and Mr. Bush should try listening to each other. Furthermore, perhaps Mr. Bush should consider how he might be misleading and/or angering his few honest-to-goodness allies the next time he goes on Israeli TV.

News from the Middle East

We can't forget that fair and balanced news does in fact exist in the Middle East. One of the most objective points of view on the Iran-UN nuclear talks comes from Al-Jazeera, the Muslim world's answer to CNN. Their article on the subject is very matter of fact, concise, and considerate of multiple points of view including the reactions of key nations including Britain, Germany, and France. The Jerusalem Post weighs in on the subject as well.

The people of the Middle East are real people. Facing increases in American military force, they are a people in turmoil, with a lot to prove to the world. They are gaining confidence and a sense of entitlement about their 'inherent rights to nuclear technology.' The situation is elevating into a global quest for dominance that may very well lead to a firefight if both sides are unwilling to back down. In fact, Hassan Rowhani's defiant claim that Iran's nuclear facilities cannot be destroyed certainly seems more like a dare than anything else.

Hopefully, having read a variety of news articles on the same important issue will give us a more complete understanding of the political turbulence in the Middle East and Europe. Reading many different news sources also grants us a better perspective from which to form our own opinions of current events and crises, and that's what I'm getting at. We have to educate ourselves, and take news from as many sources as possible because if we only watch one news channel or read one newspaper, we will continue to be force-fed our 'opinions,' and never be able to form a cogent thought independent of our glowing cathode ray god.

Isn't anybody listening?

2005-08-12T13:12:00.000-04:00

Automobile drivers, you are testing my patience. So are you, oil companies. And especially you, Mr. President.

Oil prices hit $67 per barrel today. That's a record high, says the BBC. "US refinery stoppages have come just as car sales and demand hit highs, and amid persistant security fears." We complain about high gas prices, then we go out and buy new Hummer H3s. We drive a half mile to the store and back because it's convenient. We Americans are spoiled to the core when it comes to transportation, and the answer to the problem is staring us right in the face.

We must adapt to survive.

In a world whose crude oil supply is rapidly diminishing, we simply cannot afford to keep consuming oil at our current rate. I'm not talking about the greenhouse effect, global warming, or the possibility of inadvertently starting a new ice age. I'm speaking more directly toward the possibility of a collapse of the U.S. economy. If the end of the world doesn't seem to bother you narrow-minded SUV drivers, maybe the end of your precious country will. The environment aside, the economy of the United States depends so heavily on oil, that without it, we are left to our own demise. If we don't start seriously altering our fuel consumption to renewable resources, we're going to be out of luck. Why? Imagine this: As gas prices continue to climb, fewer and fewer people will be able to afford to drive. This scenario leads (in our current political climate) to the destruction of the American Empire. If we don't start accepting the cost of alternative fuels now, we'll be up a creek without a paddle, so to speak, in 20 years or so.

Automobile companies are continuing to produce cars with horrendously low mileage rates, and we continue to buy them. Sure there are hybrids available, but sales of hybrid cars are no match for the old fashioned gas-guzzler. Even then, a hybrid car is still a hybrid - you need gasoline to power it. What I'm encouraging is a total reconstruction, a rebuilding of the American economy based on more eco-friendly and renewable resources.

The situation is grave

We are backing ourselves into a corner by continuing to rely on oil to power our imperial war machine. We are using outdated, oil consuming technology that will no longer be compatible with future technology once oil production begins to seriously slide. What happens when we can't afford to run our old machines anymore? Our cars will end up in scrap heaps, tankers will sit in dry dock, planes will be grounded. I dare not use the term, "screeching halt," but if we don't do anything about this crisis soon, that's the direction we're headed.

A good comparison for the oil industry is the internet and communications sector. During the 1980's, US phone companies spent billions of dollars hardwiring this country. They laid telephone wires everywhere they could to more completely network the country. Since then, the technology has shifted to high speed broadband wireless, rendering telephone wires and many cable lines obsolete. Since the advent of the fiber-optic cable, telephone lines are soon to be a thing of the past.

There are two lessons we can and should learn from the shifting paradigm in communications technology over the last 25 years. First, we need to be forward-thinking. We cannot afford to invest heavily in technology that we know will soon be outdated. The Library of Congress wouldn't transfer all it's stored data to 3 1/2 floppy discs, or even CD-ROMs, so why are we still developing support systems for technology that is rooted in oil production? The second lesson is the tougher one to swallow. Look what happened to communications technology in Europe and East Asia, especially Japan. Their wireless and internet capabilities far surpass our own in efficiency and range of use. You can talk on your cell phone in the Tube in London, or use your wireless network adapter on a bullet train to Kyoto. In an increasingly technology-dependent world, America cannot afford to be left behind. If we wish to survive economically, we must swallow our national pride and admit that most other first world nations are surpassing us with technology. We need to take a hint here.

If we can't shift our thought processes, we will be doomed to economic retardation. I am not saying that I have no confidence in this nation. Far from it. Look at what we did for the Great War: Before our entry into World War I, we were just some toddler nation, still fighting our expansionist wars and establishing territory. But faced with the greatest national and global conflict to date, the United States shifted its production into the war effort. Through that war, we established ourselves as a real industrial power. Again during the second world war, we flexed our muscle against the great German and Japanese war machines. I'm not saying it can't be done, just that if we don't act now, it's going to be a whole lot more difficult when we're faced with an ultimate choice: adapt or be destroyed.

We will inevitably be faced with that decision, just as every other living creature in the world has faced it. We have an advantage, however. We are sentient, [mostly] logical thinking beings, and we have the capability for foresight. Whether we wish to use that capability to avert disaster or not is our own impetus. Right now, however, it seems like with the power situation in this country at the moment, we are holding on to the past. We are living too much in our past glory to realize the fact that we are being surpassed on many levels. Right now the leaders of our country, heaviliy invested in oil production (go figure) have led us into an unjust war seemingly to profit from the remaining crude oil reserves in the Middle East.

War profiteering

If ever there was a more blatant case of profiteering and corruption of power... We need to understand that our leaders aren't doing what is in the best interest of the citizens of this country, and furthermore, the citizens of the world. We are at war to make money, and maybe kill some 'terrorists' while we're at it. If this doesn't anger you, you lack either a pulse or a brain.

The really unfortunate effect of this situation isn't the loss of life in Iraq. Two of my high school classmates were recently killed in an explosion there. While that angers and scares me, it's the impending crisis that we are soon to face on a much larger level that really keeps me up at night. Our leaders have put us on a course that will lead to our own destruction if we aren't careful and we don't adapt. We're digging our own graves by relying on oil in a rapidly changing global economy. Our dear leader is at the helm of what once was a great nation bent on world domination, but is now unwittingly contributing to its own demise. I speak not as an outside critic, but rather a concerned citizen. I am an American, granted, not a proud one, but an American nonetheless. This is my country too, and I can't stand to see it eaten away and bled to death by a power and money hungry megalomaniac. J'accuse, Mr. Bush. J'accuse!

But Seriously

We must also realize that ranting in French on the internet about a jingoist president isn't going to do terribly much. We need to focus on the small steps that we can take to make change. If we all make a little change - all 300,000,000 of us - we can add up to one big and important change. So in conclusion, here are some steps we can all take to help avoid the collapse of our dear country.

1. Ride your bike. If you don't have one, get one and ride it. It's good exercise, and you'll find you don't really need that car of yours just as much as you thought.

2. Use public transportation. Quit your whining about that 10 minute wait this morning for the T. You can get anywhere you need to go with a combination of trains, buses, and bicycles. That being said, I refuse to listen to or give any credit to anyone's complaints about their cars, the parking situation, or traffic.

3. Write your congressman. I know you've heard this one before, but did you actually ever write the official? Maybe you did, and you thought it wouldn't be enough. Wrong. If one letter doesn't get through, write another, and another, and another. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and if we all pitch in to annoy our elected officials, we can get them to do the things for which they were actually elected. Funny how that works, eh?

4. Educate yourself. Know the issues. Know what is going on in the world. If you have to watch Fox News, supplement it with CNN, the BBC, and Deutsche-Welle. Even then, it's important to understand contrasting viewpoints from different news sources. Pay attention to current world events and trends in politics, technology, and industry. Otherwise you're condemning yourself to a lifetime of stupidity, and will be persistently taken advantage of by those whom you unwittingly elected to power.

5. Don't vote Republican. This one seems like a no-brainer, but I was surprised at how many no-brainers voted for Mr. Bush in the last presidential election. Do your homework, and vote for someone who has not only the best interests of the country in mind, but also the best interests of the world. We sometimes tend to forget all the other countries out there, and that we may be seriously pissing off the vast majority of the world with our domestic political drama and inability to elect competent leadership.

6. Don't buy Dell. See, I still have a sense of humor.

Be excited: part deux

2005-08-09T09:17:00.000-04:00

I can't put my finger on exactly why I like this photo... I think it has something to do with how I found this scene. The shot is the interior of an old concession stand in Oxford, Ohio. A lone box of 5 1/4" disks was about the last thing I expected to find in there.

On the dating scene (or waiting in the wings)

2005-08-08T11:36:00.000-04:00

The dating "scene" is something that I don't think I'll ever fully understand. I just can't comprehend why people put themselves out there on display only to end up hurt and ashamed. Sure when you find love, it can be great, but is it really worth all the trouble? Is it really worth the effort we put forth - all the nights spent out at bars, personal listings, even trolling the streets? I'm not sure it is.

Many people who know me also know my somewhat offbeat dating strategy. I don't date. At least I don't try to date. I certainly don't go out on the prowl for some tail every weekend, and though I have had a profile on match.com, I have been on a total of two very unsuccessful dates. It's not that there is a dearth of women for potential dates. I could easily hook up with one of the stragglers at the bar most nights of the week. I even got a phone number last week. It's just that my type of woman isn't the type I see in the bar all the time. My "type" can be so specific that I have a hard time even knowing where to start looking.

Don't cry for me.

I'm not unhappy. I'm not lonely. I'm actually very fulfilled by myself. I have a lot of things I do to pass time and fill my life with meaningful activity. I work 52 hours every week, I brew beer, I run a few blogs, I read, and so on. I'm certainly not desperate.

My dating strategy has pretty much always been to wait and let things fall in my lap. That has actually worked fairly well so far, and I've ended up with two relationships that lasted about eight months each. Not to shabby. These days, unfortunately, I am succumbing to the nice guy syndrome. I've read the articles that say nice guys are actually too needy and have unrealistic expectations. That may have been true of me a year ago, but certainly not now. Moving to Boston has made me fiercely independent, and I have learned to be truly on my own. I have my own life that I created, and I don't need anyone to make it complete.

I have fallen into an unfortunate situation however. My latest strategy has actually been the most honest and forthright plan I've ever concocted. I have decided to actually be nice to people. I am amazed at how women respond when I say, "no, I just want to make sure you get home okay." It's like they are expecting to get date raped. I think it's the excitement factor. A lot of women love the excitement of something new and possibly dangerous. While I'm not a jerk, not a predator, and definitely not out to hurt anyone, I feel like unless I exude those qualities, I will be continually tossed aside as the token "nice guy."

There are lots of nice guys right under your noses, ready and willing to treat you better than anyone ever has or ever will. Ladies, let the buyer beware. I know there are a lot of jerks out there, but you don't have to settle for them, and please, show a little class some times - don't fall for their tactics. I have seen so many women become prey for men who are just manipulative bastards. Then I hear about how awful and despicable men are from my female friends.

Don't forget, this intelligent, funny, successful, interesting, all in all awesome guy is currently single. But don't worry, I don't expect any more attention than I already get for being nice (which is none.)

Photo of the day - be excited

2005-08-08T00:47:00.000-04:00

Another photo from the "Best of the rest." I took this one on a cold day in Cincinnati. I always thought that woman looked like she was on the verge of something monumentous, like her decision to step into the street was somehow important to the fate of the universe. Plus the blue color really isolates her figure on a lonely city street.

It could be something special

2005-08-07T16:12:00.000-04:00

The whole process could turn out to be an exercise in futility, but I have decided to go back to school on a part-time basis. As interesting as my job is right now, it seems like something else is calling me. I desperately need some kind of external intellectual stimulation, and working at a restaurant isn't cutting the mustard, so to speak.

After having a conversation with my roommate Aimee, I think I'll most likely end up enrolling in Harvard University's Extension program. They offer a whole battery of classes I can take in areas in which I have vested interests. For example, I could take a screenwriting class or two, or perhaps a novel writing class. There are also classes on expository writing, and even grammar. If nothing else, I can enroll in Boston University's continuing education program and "get my learn on" over there.

Hopefully something good will come of this decision, as my life right now is seriously lacking in excitement. All I need to do is actually get down to it and apply for the schools. I don't think there will be a problem with acceptance, but my overwhelming sense of self-loathing is curbing my ambition at the moment.

The "New" Fear Factor

2005-08-01T13:10:00.000-04:00

It is far more prevalent than you might think. The principles of behavior modification are being applied discreetly and not-so-discreetly by forces in positions of power that you might normally trust. Those who are in power either financially or politically use behavior modification on an unwitting populace for one goal: to remain in power. It's the same idea behind parenting, but with a far more insidious twist.

All of our parents used some degree of behavior modification on us while we were growing up. Unless you lived with insane or indifferent parents, your mom and dad most likely put you through a course of reward and punishment designed to allow you to make "your own" decisions about what is right and wrong. For example, if mom doesn't want you to eat the cookies in the cookie jar, she can do a number of things to accomplish the modification of your behavior so you won't want to eat the cookies anymore. First, there is the principle of Satiation: She can let you eat all the cookies, thereby making you feel ill (the same principle behind the workers at the Hershey factory - eat all the chocolate you want until it gets disgusting). Second, the punishment principle is the most popular among frustrated parents: She can punish you for eating the cookies - physically or verbally. If she's clever, the incompatible alternative principle is a good one: She can simultaneously offer rewards for alternate, more favorable behaviors, e.g. eating a plate of vegetables instead of cookies and offering an extra hour of television in return.

Applying the same principles of behavior modification to adults in the general populace is frighteningly easy. There is one difference, however. When working with citizens of a country in what is now a tense global political climate, most of the aforementioned principles no longer apply. In fact, one principle accomplishes almost all goals of large-scale behavior modification: Punishment.

The largest motivating factor for the modern human being is fear. Plain and simple fear. Fear of personal injury or injury of loved ones, fear of loss, fear of going to prison, fear of embarassment, you name it, we're afraid of it. And those in power use that fear to control us. Why? Because it's easy, and they can earn money and recognition with that kind of manipulation. Fear is everywhere - all over the news, in advertising, and in virtually every situation one might encounter in the modern world. There's always something to be afraid of, whether we are prepared to admit it. From the little twinge of fear one experiences when wondering what might happen if you say something wrong at a company meeting, to the fear of being blown to bits by a suicide bomber, everyone lives in some degree of fear. What those in power have learned to do is simply control humanity's biggest natural resource - fear.

Why do we report suspicious bags at the airport? Why do we obey traffic laws? Why don't we steal things when they are unguarded and in plain view? Why do we buy anti-aging creams and deodorant soaps? Why do we drive "safer" cars? Why doesn't everyone speak out against opression and corruption in government? We're all afraid.

I am reminded of Bertrand Russel at this point. Let us say that the most important human impulse, the desire which separates us from the rest of the animals on the planet, is the desire for power:

While animals are content with existence and reproduction, men desire also to expand, and their desires in this respect are limited only by what imagination suggests as possible. Every man would like to be God, if it were possible; some few find it difficult to admit the impossibility

- Russell, Power

How does one go about acquiring power? In the days before the UN, before all the bureaucratic red tape, all one needed to do in order to gain power was exert force over others. If you burn enough villages, eventually only those who support you will be left. Now it is a bit more difficult to do such a thing. One cannot simply ride up to Boston harbor with an armada of Viking longboats and raid the town. Nor can one operate on a force-based power acquisition strategy. From the local level to the world at large, it's simply not cost effective to go to war for power anymore. By "cost effective," I mean cost in dollars spent to hire and train an army, move said army, help the invaded nation rebuild after the war, etc., not to mention the cost in lives on both sides. Now, you can only gain power if people want to give it to you. The trick is making them want to give it to you.

"I met a man once who could sell a sno-cone to an Eskimo." Why is it admirable to be able to convince people that they want something, even though they obviously don't need it? Simple: because when you convince someone that they really want something even though it may not be in their best interest, you gain power over them, and power is the ultimate goal of humanity as a whole. You may feel free to disagree with me on this point, but I am a firm believer in the idea that people will always ultimately do what is in their own best interest, unless convinced otherwise by those who have more power backing their interests. A prime example: The war in Iraq. How did we as a population of nearly 300,000,000 people agree on fighting an unjust and quite possibly a very unnecessary war? Just ask Herman Goering:

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."

-- Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials

I'm sure you've heard that quote thrown around next to shouts of "Bush is a Nazi," and soforth, but there is a deeper, and far more insidious truth to Goering's words and their universality. The alarming truth lies in the very nature of humanity. Again, I know I'm dangerously close to some serious philosophical arguments, but I feel strongly about this. Of the population of the world, we can divide humanity into two key groups: those who will take advantage, and those who will be taken advantage of.

There is of course a large, fluctuating gray area in which lie most people who identify themselves as "middle class" and wish to be left out of the whole situation, but at some level, everyone at one time or another fits into one of those two categories. It is also not out of the question for people to alternate between the categories at times as well. For example, perhaps you close a business deal for a huge profit, selling a product at a much higher rate than one might expect to pay. Then you go out to your local grocery store and purchase anti-wrinkle cream because you're afraid that if you don't look young and virile all the time, no one will ever love you and you'll end up dying alone.

And so we are either in control, or we are controlled. I envision the idea as such: There is only a finite amount of "power" in the world. Think of it as a commodity that will never lose value, but is very easily transferred. There is not enough power in the world for everyone to have it, so those who possess it, struggle to gain and keep it, and as such, ownership cycles. All we as individuals can do is try to preserve our own autonomy. I use the word "autonomy" instead of "freedom" here because I believe it hasn't been corrupted by governments. The word "freedom" should come with an asterisk nowadays.

Not much, but it's something after all

2005-07-31T12:24:00.000-04:00

I'm expanding!

Yes, the attention I'm getting from the Boston Globe article about me and some other Somerville bloggers has allowed me to expand to two new blogs. The first new blog called, "Hire Jeff Kurz" went up today, containing a brand spanking new cover letter and updated resume. Possible, employers, take note: you're reading one of the premier up-and-comers on the web. The second new blog called "Date Jeff Kurz" will hopefully be up within the next few days. Having little to no luck with the dating scene in the area, I have decided for a lark to invent myself my own online personal ad. This will be no run of the mill ad, however. I'm planning on an extensive blog dedicated solely to the purpose of dating in the Boston area. This idea has the potential to be a laugh riot (most likely,) but it could also yield some interesting and possibly sexy results. Stay tuned for updates on that front.

Look for me in the news

2005-07-29T10:41:00.000-04:00

Over the course of the last week, I have gotten a surprising amount of media attention. I say 'surprising' because at this point any attention at all is in fact very surprising. First, I received an email from a writer for the Boston Globe who had seen my blog and wanted to do a short interview about it for an article. Okay, I thought. Wouldn't hurt to get a free meal in exchange for an hour of my time - plus I'll be in the paper. So after an early morning (12 noon) interview, I was told that there would be something on me in this Sunday's paper, and that a photographer was coming over to my house to take photos of me for the article. Go figure. So if you happen to be in the Boston area, pick up a copy of this coming Sunday's Boston Globe. I think I'll be in the magazine section.

Now for those of you who live in parts of the world where the Sunday Globe isn't readily available, I also recently became a member of Metroblogging Boston. It's a site where I and thirteen other bloggers from the Boston area post about, what else, Boston. It's a really interesting site, and I'm sure to get a few more hits here because of it. Plus the new movable type interface is slick as hell and I can't wait to start using it.

Since that's not too much of a post, here's something to look at. to attract your attention before you read the text:

I take a lot of photographs, and only about 5 % of them make it to the web. This is an attempt to show the best of the rest.

Update: Dell Still Awful

2005-07-27T11:01:00.000-04:00

For those of you who have been enjoying my blog, I thank you. For anyone interested in why I continue to hate Dell Inc. so much, here's an update on my struggle with the computer giant.

Yesterday, I received my bill in the mail from Dell's "preferred account" department. It was the usual shape and size. 7 by 11 inches, blue and black ink on white paper, in a nondescript white envelope with one of those little cellophane address windows. There was one thing a little odd with this bill, however. The date I received it was conveniently the same day that the bill was due. How could this have happened? I had called the customer service people three times now, trying to assure that my bill would arrive on time and at the right address. You would be surprised at just how difficult that is for some people these days.

So I called to complain.

"Thank you for calling Dell Customer Service, my name is Mark, how can I help you today?"

"Hi Mark, I was just calling to let you know that I got my bill in the mail today, and the due date is listed here as the same day. Also, I see a late charge here even though the last person I talked to, Mary X, told me that since sending the bill to the wrong address twice was your fault and I wouldn't be charged the late fee of $35. What are you going to do about this?"

I have given up trying to be nice to these people. I now prefer to treat them like impudent children.

"Well sir, I see that call here, and I will take that fee off of your last bill."

"And I won't be charged for being late on this bill either."

"Well sir, I cannot.."

"Yes you can, you just did it. If you can't send me my bill on time, and you won't let me pay online, then you aren't charging me a late fee. I simply will not be bullied into paying your over the phone check 'convenience fee' of fifteen dollars for a service I know costs you next to nothing. Now here's what you're going to do. You will send me my bill on time from now on. You will waive this billing period's late fee, and you can expect another complaint to corporate. Now may I have your name and/or employee number so I can include you in my letter?"

Silence follows. A short time later, Mark popped back on the line.

"Sir, we have everything taken care of for you. You should see your bill in the mail by August 7th."

"Thank you. You have been very little help today, which is the best service I have ever gotten from Dell. Goodbye."

I didn't give him the satisfaction of ending our conversation with his little "Thank you for choosing Dell" routine. But in the end, I got three things out of that conversation. First, I was able to get $70 worth of fees waived. Second, I actually got a sort of an apology. Finally, I became more frustrated with Dell for seemingly slacking off and trying to get me to pay extra money in fees at every step of the process.

I'll be writing another letter to corporate today, detailing the level of my frustration. I know it may end up in a shredder, but it's a worthy cause.

Remember, don't buy Dell. Ever.

Children's games and shuttle launches

2005-07-27T10:26:00.000-04:00

When I was in the third grade, the whole school had a free day toward the end of May. As you can imagine, there were about 300 yelling and screaming children out on the asphalt parking lot "playground" of St. Vivian's school. Many of the children were watching a unique game being played by kids from my class against kids from the fourth grade class. The game was called lightning ball. It was aptly named since it was essentially baseball played with a tennis ball and tennis racket instead of a baseball and bat. The little green ball when hit, would rocket off at such speeds that our pre-pubescent minds could barely comprehend - it was like lightning. It was a mind-bogglingly fun and intense game.

It was during that game on a sunny afternoon in Ohio on an asphalt playground that I got my first lesson in the art of the midair collision. Not that kind of midair collision, but an interesting one nonetheless. The large group of onlookers stood intent on the game as one of the fourth graders came up to bat. He was one of the bigger kids and as such, commanded a bit more respect from the opposing teams. "Everybody back up!" The pitcher told the kids in the field. They did. Then they waited for what was sure to be a big a towering drive deep into the outfield. The pitcher held, and delivered. The fourth grader hit the ball with such incredible force that I took a moment to visualize the hit in slow motion, observing the compression of the ball at the moment of impact. But just miliseconds after that impact, there was a second one. Seemingly out of nowhere, a bird had flown directly into the flight path of the ball. The two collided head-on and fell straight down like stones. The tennis ball bounced away and the big kid only got a basehit, but there was a dead sparrow near third base. We cleaned it up and went on with the game after a few obligatory cries of, "Eeeew!"

The actual event of seeing a bird killed by, well, anything wasn't as traumatic as one might think for a child of nine. I wasn't so much disturbed by the corpse of a bird as I was amazed that out of all that space in the world, the bird had chosen that exact flight path - none other would have been so perfect - as to hit a speeding tennis ball with such force and accuracy that it was killed instantly. It might as well have been struck by lightning at those odds. Hence the now much more appropriate double meaning for the game, lightning ball.

This story brings up two other notable midair collisions that seem just as, or far more random than my experience in Ohio. I'm sure you remember this incident with then Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher, Randy Johnson and an unlucky white dove. And if you have been watching any of the coverage of NASA's return to flight mission, you might have heard about some interesting and unusual debris captured on camera flying off the shuttle during the launch. Among other things, one piece of 'debris' was a rather large bird that was struck dead on by the tip of the nose cone on the primary fuel tank of the shuttle. I would think the space shuttle Discovery might be a little easier to avoid than a baseball or a tennis ball, but I guess there are some birds out there who still haven't read this.

United States soccer team actually wins something

2005-07-25T19:05:00.000-04:00

I guess I just haven't been paying as much attention as I should to international soccer. Since I no longer get the Soccer Channel, it has been difficult to keep up with the soccer world. Every once in a while though, something of note pops up on the American national sports media about soccer to renew my interest in the sport. This is just such an example. Yesterday the United States mens national team defeated Panama to win (that's right, win) the Gold Cup, a tournament held by CONCACAF, or for the acronymically challenged, The Confederation of North, Central America and Caribbean Association Football.

With the recent success of the US women's national team, winners of the 1999 FIFA Women's World Cup, I suppose it was only a matter of time before the men's team caught up. The men's team is on a tear right now. Fresh off their victory in the Gold Cup, The U.S. team are set to be one of the 3.5 teams to qualify for the 2006 World Cup to be held in Germany. They are just one point behind Mexico, the leader in the North American and Carribean Zone cup qualifying standings, and five points ahead of the next best team, Costa Rica. The top three teams automatically qualify, and that .5 of a team comes from the possibility of statistics propelling the winner of the match between the 4th and 5th place teams into the final 32 for the Cup. If you remember, when the U.S. played Mexico in March the Mexican fans began chanting, "Osama, Osama!" and throwing trash at American players. Mexico won that match 2-1. Mexico seems to be out to prove itself though after a tough loss to the American team in the 2002 World Cup.

Further proving its mettle, the U.S. men's team recently garnered the rank of 6th among FIFA's international list of ranked national teams. Think about it this way: the international governing body for all of soccer ranks the best national teams in the world starting with Brazil and going down the list, Argentina, The Netherlands, The Czech Republic, Mexico, and the United States. FIFA says there are only five teams currently better than the U.S. in the world. Fifteen years ago, we were coming off a more than 30 year drought in qualifying for the World Cup. After the team's 1991 victory in the Gold Cup (then a tournament with far less respect than it has today,) U.S. soccer has enjoyed a rapidly growing popularity and talent pool. Though the MLS still blows, international soccer is at least picking up support and enjoying more and more success. We even have a vote of confidence from across the pond.

Why the sudden influx in talent and interest? I have two words for you: Soccer mom. The popularity of driving your children around in a gigantic SUV and wearing designer clothes to watch your six year old toddle around the pitch is phenomenal. It became the "thing to do" for the middle to high income housewife during the eighties and nineties. In my experience, being a soccer mom is just as much a social club for parents as it is a sports club for children. Thanks to the growing interest in pastel-colored cardigans, SUVs, and soccer ball window stickers, we now have a national team that is competitive on a world level.

They say beer is the new wine

2005-07-23T13:14:00.000-04:00

It's true. If you go to a respectable high class beer bar, you'll find not only a wide variety of beers, but a level of quality that has been increasing, and will continue to increase as more and more breweries compete to offer the "finest products available." Let's take a look at some of the finer quality beers available these days. I'm sure if you have the time and money for a tasting, you won't be disappointed in any of these samples, and your money will be far better spent than on that six-pack of Schlitz cans in your fridge right now.

I have recently become more and more interested in some of the less well-known Belgian styles currently being produced by a few local breweries. It's well worth the money to drop $10 on a 750 mL bottle of any of the Allagash Brewery's phenomenal Belgian ales. If you're not familiar with the brewery, try the award-winning Allagash White, a superior wheat beer that is great for a hot and sweaty afternoon. When you're feeling more adventurous, try one of their more intense Belgian Dubbels or Tripels. These are bottle conditioned ales that are cask-aged for serious flavor and serious alcohol content. Some of their brews are well above 11% ABV. For example, right now the Allagash 10th Anniversary Ale is available, and it is dynamite. It's a stronger and spicier version of their White beer, and it packs a punch at 10% alcohol by volume. Notice in their description of the beer, the brewers make a note for food pairings. Truly this is a beer that is to be respected for its craftsmanship. Finally from the good folks at Allagash, be on the lookout for the reappearance of their Curieux ale. It's a Belgian Tripel that is aged for a year in Oak bourbon barrels still moist with bourbon, and then aged another year in the bottles. It is highly alcoholic and must be treated like a fine wine with its high alcohol content and complex flavor.

If you make it out to Milton, Delaware, be sure to take a tour of the Dogfish brewery. These guys seriously know their stuff. Featuring abour a dozen beers regularly, and about another six seasonal beers, there is no shortage of diversity among the brews. With such a wide selection, it can be difficult to choose what to taste. I reccommend starting with the 60 minute IPA. At the beginning stages of the beer making process, this brew undergoes a 60 minute continuous hop addition before it is cooled and yeast is added. What this means for us, the beer drinkers, is an extremely hoppy beer with a crisp, long-lasting finish that makes you want another and another and another. My current favorite Dogfish beer is their Raison d'Etre. It's another Belgian style ale with a twist. You will definitely taste lots of raisin flavor in this beer, and you might even be surprised to learn it is brewed with beet sugar (of all things). Don't let the beets scare you off, this beer is truly amazing. Another caveat though, watch out for the alcohol content. At 8.5%, you could be horizontal a lot more quickly than you realize because the beer is deceptively smooth. Finally, if you can find it, check out the tongue-in-cheek Liquor de Malt which comes in a 40oz bottle complete with a hand-stamped brown paper bag.

Another brewery specializing in Belgian Ales is the Cooperstown, New York-based Ommegang brewery. They are seriously into the old style of brewing, actually aging some of their beers in a local cave. If you want to try a selection from this brewery, I reccommend their original, the Abbey Ale. It's a rich bottle conditioned ale that is extremely complex in flavor and very high in alcohol content. Note, again the brewers' reccomended food pairings, one sign of a truly remarkable beer.

This is by no means a comprehensive list, but just a few ideas for some experimentation with beer-tasting that will be sure to liven up any evening. Just think, you have a date over for dinner, you've just put an awesome meal on the table, and instead of wine, you break out a bottle of Fin du Monde, pop the cork and regail your date with the intricacies in the flavor of this fine [Canadian] Belgian Trippel. It's sure to impress. And get you wicked drunk.

What's happeing with Dell these days?

2005-07-22T13:51:00.000-04:00

It seems like Dell Inc. has some explaining to do after some recent developments that may constitute fairly shady business practices. Dell Inc. has gained world renown for it's success in business, but it has had its share of criticisms and unfortunate incidents with some parts of the company.

Earlier this year, Dell was named the "most amirable company" by Fortune in February of this year, topping a list that included such other Evil Empire notables as Wal-Mart, Starbucks, and Southwest Airlines. Southwest, who have recently introduced their "Ding" campaign, now offer software which is nothing short of Adware that you can download for your "convenience." Personally, when I see a company that wants me to put software on my computer just so it can tell me to spend money, a little red flag goes up. Okay, a big red flag. You might as well download this piece of IT trash along with all the other programs like it that amount to no more than wolves in sheep's clothing.

But I digress. Dell's customer service has always had a good reputation, and their claims are pretty lofty:

"Dell's commitment to customer value, to our team, to being direct, to operating responsibly and, ultimately, to winning continues to differentiate us from other companies."
-Dell.com's Company Background Page

However, their commitment to customer value isn't always what it may seem. Sure, if you are a large business and you work with Dell computers, your customer service is excellent. I learned just recently that tech support for Dell's products used by large companies mainly just involves an outright replacement policy. Sounds great: you never have to worry about a bad drive fan, a shorted out power supply, or cracked heat sink again. Dell will just replace your hardware.

Now if you are just a simple home user, you might run into some problems. First, it seems that Dell has its priorities straight as far as the business world is concerned. They see profit as the number one goal, and nothing, not even customer complaints can stop them. There have been a number of complaints, mainly from individual users, that claim Dell was apathetic, curt, and even outright rude to the complaints of its customers. I for one have experienced the agony of Dell customer "service" firsthand as the unfortunate owner of a Dell PC.

Here are some tips for dealing with Dell over the phone:

1. Never ask them to change your address in their files: They won't do it. On one occasion, I sent in my bill with the "new address" box filled out, only to find out later that they had ignored it, and kept sending the bills to my old address. I then called customer service twice before my address was actually changed and my bills started to come to the correct address. I have moved once since the last time I changed my address with them, and believe it or not, I had the exact same problem. After 12 minutes on hold, an impatient voice told me, "maybe you didn't actually call us to tell us about the change of address." Are you kidding? I actually had to make three separate phone calls to customer service to finally get my bills to come to the correct address. You would think a simple change of address would be just that: simple. But with the Dell team at work, it's far from it. It is downright impossible.

2. When your machine breaks, always demand replacement parts: Dell is a huge company with a vast amount of resources at its disposal. As I mentioned earlier, in the corporate setting, when a component or a whole machine goes down, Dell replaces them almost immediately, with little or no attempt to repair the malfunctioning item. If they can afford to do that for companies, the can certainly afford to send you a new DVD drive when yours breaks under warranty.

3. Play as dumb as you can: I mean really ham it up. Let the tech support person think you are retarded if you want. In my experience, Dell's first response to "my computer won't work" is to have you fix it yourself. They have someone to walk you through all the steps to getting your computer back up and running. They will spend literally hours on the phone with you before they will send a tech out. Why? It's way more cost effective in the short-term to frustrate your customers to violence over the phone than have someone who actually knows what they're doing help you out. So when you're on the phone, here are some of my favorite lines to drop when you're trying to get the most out of your tech support call: "Which one of these thingies is the mouse?" "So what should my interweb look like?" "It's making a really strange noise right now..." and the coup de grace, "Ohhh... it just says, 'critical system error: cannot recover' and the screen is all blue." One of those should help you on your way to better technical support.

4. Make them repeat everything: As I have learned, you never know when customer service is actually listening to you, or if they can even understand you. The fact of the matter is that much of Dell's customer service is outsourced to call centers in India. Surprising? Not really. Frustrating? Entirely. I understand the cost-effectiveness of outsourcing jobs, and I hold no ill will toward the Indian population, but it's just really really difficult to understand some of the operators through their thick accents. "Dear Dell, you can outsource wherever you want, but I would really like to be able to understand the people I'm talking to. Thanks a mill." If you make the operators repeat everything you tell them, you can make absolutely sure your point makes it across.

5. Take names: Most people who work in call centers don't care about you. I know if I worked in one of those places and got angry and confused calls all day, I would certainly be close to a meltdown at the end of a week. The people who work in "customer service" are trained to do exactly that. They are supposed to avoid confrontation, solve problems effectively, and avoid complaints. It's one thing to complain about the company, but it's quite another for a call center employee to be personally involved. At the end of every call, request the operator's name, call identification number, and whatever else they will give you so that you can document the call and your complaint. That way if anything goes awry - like if they forget to change your address - you can call right back up and tell a supervisor exactly who promised you something would be done. It's just my little way of motivating the operators on an individual level.

6. Ask for the supervisor: If the call isn't getting anywhere, and you feel like you are being ignored or given the brush off, ask to talk to the supervisor. They have to let you talk to him if you keep asking. Mind you, they will do whatever it takes to keep you off the phone with the boss. Here's where you can try to make a deal. Start saying things like, "Well I'm aware of the situation, and as I recall, this isn't my fault.... What are you going to do for me?" At this point, you can get things like late fees waived, more affirming promises of real actual technical support, change your payment date (if you have credit with them,) even extend and/or modify the terms of your loan. If you're still not satisfied, talk to the supervisor, and s/he will likely be able to calm you down from your seething rage, or offer you something to shut you up.

7. Write a letter: Seriously, write a letter. Write a new one every day. Tell them exactly how you feel. The more letters they get, the more they will be inclined to stop doing what pisses people off. Be vocal with your complaints. Post to the complaint forum if you want, but I still think postal mail - and lots of it - is the best way to really irk a company into fixing its problems. If you have a complaint, send it to this guy:

Dell Corporate Headquarters, care of CEO Kevin Rollins
One Dell Way
Round Rock, Texas 78682

Even if just one of every thousand complaints reaches this man's desk, I would consider it a success.

8. Don't buy from Dell: If you have learned anything from Dell customer service, you'll know not ever to buy from them again. In my experience, and in the experience of others, I have learned that Dell seems to care little about the every day consumer. I'm certainly not speaking for businesses here - you guys can do whatever you want. But if you are a home user, looking to buy a PC from a company with a "reputation for great support," look elsewhere. Buy it locally from a place you can go to with complaints, concerns, and technical questions; where they will actually listen to you.

In praise of SCAT (it's not what you think)

2005-07-16T00:37:00.000-04:00

On a lazy Friday night with nothing better to do than watch Battlestar Galactica with Mike from upstairs, I found myself channel surfing though my local cable provider, RCN's lineup of fabulous programming. And what should my wandering eye behold? Nothing but a high quality program from the good folks at S.C.A.T., also known as Somerville Community Access Television. I actually spent thirty minutes of my life watching, entranced, a group of four men sit in someone's basement and play five card draw poker while pornography was on in the background. I shit you not, this is what's on television here.

It gets better.

Halfway through the programme, one of the players - a burly gentleman with a handlebar moustache broke out a guitar and sung a short little diddy that went as follows: (to the tune of "Jimmy Crack Corn")

"When I was young and had no sense
I stuck my dick in an electric fence
It curled my hairs, it tickled my balls
It made me crap my overalls

[...]

and I'll never have sex again."

Brilliant. Just brilliant. What made this show even better was the constant exclamations by the participants of, "I'm so drunk," "I think I'm on my sixth beer," and the blatant advertising plugs for a Somerville bar, and a Somerville pornographic video store. "Of course if you're too embarassed to take some of these titles home, we have viewing booths for your pleasure."

What's the word for, "simultaneously disgusting, yet totally enthralling as a cultural phenomenon?"

Some more silliness

2005-07-15T13:17:00.000-04:00

I'm sure we've all been to these ridiculous sites, or at least left them open to our roommates' annoyance. Just a refresher course for anyone who wants to be reminded of some of the absolute crap that is on the intro-web.

It all started with this insanity, the song from which, I must remind everyone, is just the opening song from Disney's Robin Hood, sent through some audio filters. From there, the possibilities were endless:

Transformers Rave

Well excuse me, Princess

Welcome to zombocom

Khaaan!

Young earth theory

Sometimes, it's just that funny. Most of the time, not so much.

When Cameron was in Egypt land....

2005-07-12T19:18:00.000-04:00

According to Jessica, “Cameron Marlow is a grad student at the MIT Media Lab. To finish his Ph.D., Mr. Marlow is going to be analyzing the results of a survey “about how people use their weblogs and their general communication behavior. To get the best results, he needs a large sample size so if you’ve got 15 minutes or so; why not help the poor guy out?”

Why not then? Since he's local, I gave it a shot, and you should too! (I'm looking in your direction, the Brian.)

I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead and come in on Saturday.

2005-07-11T15:41:00.000-04:00

"Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour [...] Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work."

As I read during my break at work, I am reminded of that scene in Office Space where Peter explains to the Bobs about how much work he does. Then I started thinking, I'm sure we all waste massive amounts of time at our jobs, and not just an hour here or and hour there. I mean real chunks of time spent doing nothing worthwhile.

Granted, there are some marginally respectable ways to waste your time at work. I for one, read Fark almost constantly. It is an unending source of some important events and a whole battery of marginally important 'news' events from a variety of non-traditional sources. However, if you do a simple google search for "waste time at work," you will find a variety of mildly interesting things to do while you're getting paid to sit on your ass.

The Boston Globe has a bit to say about it too. I'm not sure who paid for that study - probably some higher-ups looking to cut corners and save on labor cost. At this point, I'd like to remind everyone that your time is a commodity, just as much as anything you can buy in a store. Furthermore, I am reminded by Annie Dillard, (and I'm paraphrasing here from The Writing Life,) what are you doing with your life? To find the answer, just look at what you are doing with your days, your hours, and your minutes, because after all, what you do with those fragments of time is what you are doing with your life. So you sell your time, your effort, and your freedom for often times, not enough money. Why not take a little back here and there?

So you got me. I waste time at work. Here I am posting to my blog, though I hardly find blogging to be wasteful, at work. Though I haven't gotten any real work done in the past 15 minutes as I have been writing this, I'll feel a definite sense of satisfaction for the rest of the day, having done something creative that others will see. As for work, well, I'm out of here at 6:00.

A real celebration of independence (Boston edition)

2005-07-06T17:10:00.000-04:00

As you may have already read on The Brian's blog, I traveled to New York City over the weekend of July 1 through July 3. It was incredibly difficult to make it through the preceding week of work in order to have those days off, but I feel like it was completely worth it.

Friday, 3:00 pm: I got off work and promptly headed down to the Davis Square T station to take the red line down to South Station - one of Boston's two large transportation hubs. After a brief train ride, I made it to the bus station way earlier than I had expected, and siezing the opportunity, I boarded an earlier express bus to New York, taking literally the last seat. The bus driver drove like a madman. We embarked from Boston at 4:00 and somehow made it to New York by 7:30, which suited me perfectly because it gave me a couple more hours of precious freedom where I wouldn't be stuck in a bus seat. Upon arrival, I immediately noted the smell and general poor condition of the Port Authority bus station. If you've never been there, don't look forward to your next trip. The station is enormous. In fact, it is the largest bus terminal in the country, if not the world, and it shows. There are thousands of people there at any given time crowding the corridors, waiting in lines, buying crap from vendors, and urinating in corners (that must explain the stench.) Since everyone knows how much I love masses of humanity, you can imagine how uncomfortable I was at the bus station, and furthermore, how relieved I was to be able to breathe somewhat cleaner air outside.

I left the Port Authority station and called Brian to meet up and head back to his place. After about 10 minutes of waiting, watching every type of person imaginable walk by, taking two tourist photos for random people who asked, I got a call from Brian at this very intersection:

Ring. Ring.

Me: "Hello?"
Brian: "Cross the street. NOW."

Click

That was my introduction to the busy New York streets in Times Square.

To start, here's my official token Times Square photo:

Yes I was actually there, and every person around us was doing the exact same thing, taking the exact same photograph of themselves. I just thought I'd sneak in my version.

For those of you who don't know, Brian lives in Harlem. I am sure that Harlem's reputation is known widely enough that I don't need to go into too much detail about my surroundings. This is the view from his apartment's living room window:

Looks tame? Not even close. That photo was taken at about 11:00 in the morning, a time at which most of the serious crazies are asleep. Walking out onto those very streets at say, 11:00 at night, you find yourself in a completely different world. From the sounds I heard, it may as well have been Fallujah. People were yelling and screaming until the sun came up, and for most of the night, they were setting off 'fireworks' the size of Red Bull cans. I use the term 'fireworks' in quotation marks because the things they were detonating were essentially light bombs, the explosions from which were enough to rattle Brian's windows, knock out storefront lights, and set off car alarms. I don't know how anyone sleeps there.

It was fun, though. Believe it or not, I actually found it refreshing and interesting to be a blatant minority. That kind of situation isn't something I have ever really experienced to the extent that I did last weekend. It was certainly frightening at times: Friday night, we walked past an unmarked building at 4:30 in the morning where six or so hulking guys stood at attention dressed in all black. But overall, the entire experience of Harlem was a pretty positive one. I didn't get robbed, beaten up, killed, or anything like that. I saw more bootleg merchandise than I have ever seen in my life, and that includes the thirty or so stands that sold only incense.

The rest of the weekend was a blast. After Brian and I got back from the bus station, we enjoyed a refreshing 99 cent Pabst Blue ribbon, and it was off to enjoy the New York night life. After an evening/morning of debauchery and fried chicken, we finally made it home to Harlem, whereupon we attempted in vain to drink some of my beer. We did succeed, however, in making a complete mess with the chicken and then promptly passing out - Brian in his bed, and me on the floor, fully clothed, shoes on. Awesome.

Saturday went just as well. Begrudgingly we rose from our sleep to a surprisingly quiet and calm Harlem and after about a gallon of water each, we were off to Shea Stadium to see the Mets play the Florida Marlins. Coincidentally, I could really care less about either baseball squadron, I just thought i would be wicked cool to go see a game. And wicked cool it certainly was. We arrived after the longest train ride ever at the stadium in beautiful Queens, New York. When we got there, we were treated unexpectedly to the world hot dog eating championship semifinal where we saw the one and only Crazy Legs Conti. (Notice the Celtics jersey he's wearing in the first photo.) The game was the awesome, though baseball wasn't the first thing on our minds:

The footlong hotdog and Smirnoff Ice combo is a tribute to my favorite thing: absurdity, just to clarify for those who don't know me that well.

The game was a blast. Brian and I had a great time heckling everyone including the concessions guys, and especially Mike Piazza, who is apparently not gay. It certainly helped that by the 6th inning, we were rip-roaring trashed, and it was only about 3:00 in the afternoon. Nonetheless, the game was a huge success, mainly due to the fact that we had awesome seats:

I had never seen Shea Stadium before, and I was impressed with the cleanliness of the whole park. At least it was pretty clean where we were, in these wicked sweet box seats.

After the game, we decided to wait for the masses of people who left early to dissipate as the trains took them home. It had been an exceptionally long and uncomfortable train ride to Queens, and we didn't exactly feel like making that ride any worse with about eight thousand people on the train with us. So we waited and sobered up a bit before we hopped on the 7 for the long journey back.

Once we dropped off our Carlos Beltran bobbleheads, and after a brief rest, we were off for some more sightseeing and general mischief. This is the point at which the chicanery described in my previous post actually takes place. Saturday night was just as eventful as Friday had been. We visited Barcade and had our fill of microbrews before sitting down to a ridiculously greasy but oh so good 'breakfast' at 3:00 in the morning.

After brunch the next morning, it was time to say goodbye to New York. Brian and I took our time getting back to the bus station where I would leave, stopping briefly to gawk at Samuel L. Jackson. It was sad to go back, especially since I was already dreading work the next morning, but the whole weekend had been worth it.

*If you want to view all the pictures I took from the weekend, they are available in in full and in higher quality at my photo graveyard.

As if New York cops had nothing better to do...

2005-07-05T13:18:00.000-04:00

On my recent jaunt to fabulous New York City, specifically Harlem, I celebrated my true independence with the Brian. His account of the weekend can be found here, along with some great snapshots of the absurdity that surrounded us for three days in July. My pictures will be coming shortly, but for now, let's examine what it means to be homeless or stranded in New York City.

New York can be absolutely terrifying for someone with no money and nowhere to sleep at night. You are in constant competition for food, shelter, warmth, and safety, all of which are highly valuable commodities for someone with no means of income. Picture yourself in the following situation: You have just come to New York to find a new life as many millions of people have. Your family is far away or non-existent, and you only have a few belongings and your wits with you. All of a sudden, a stranger wielding a knife jumps out from behind a corner and robs you of all your worldly posessions. Four letters come to your mind, "F U C T." What do you do? You don't have any place to stay, you don't know anyone, you're a mess from the mugging and ensuing struggle, and you certainly don't have any money.

It's at this point that your mind starts to reel. You begin to panic. Fear and hunger make a person do some things he or she might not ordinarily do. You begin to pick food out of dumpsters so you can eat. You gather any clothing you can to keep warm and dry. You find yourself a little place to curl up and sleep before the police wake you up and move you along. Most importantly though, your number one goal is to find money. After all, it is the most important thing to humanity for with money lies the keys to all manner of commodity. So you start begging for change because you can't exactly go into Taco Bell looking like you have been eating out of dumpsters for a week, and I don't know a landlord in the world that will take someone who looks and smells like you do - especially because you don't have a huge wad of cash to put down on a deposit for a halfway decent apartment.

I believe this is where one's hopes start to dwindle and die. Now that you've been on the streets for a few weeks without a shower or a hot meal, you're beginning to realize that your condition is pretty hopeless without help. Even then, the help you get is more often than not a stop-gap measure just to keep you alive enough to not be a bit nuisance by dying of starvation on the street corner. You wander in to soup kitchens and churches looking for something - anything - to eat, or a place to stay. There isn't much real aid available, just a cot for the night and a bowl of chowder - nothing that will help you actually overcome and rise out of the situation in which you have found yourself.

So hopelessness sets in. Without any ties to the real world, no family, no friends, no job, no house, no money, and no hope of success, your mind starts working on an entirely different level. You have given up on escape as many homeless persons do, and you concentrate on your immediate goals like finding your first meal of the day or not getting stabbed to death. It is in this situation where I believe many of our homeless persons live: in constant fear of starvation, attack, and arrest. What would you do?

Speaking hypothetically about that situation is one thing. You may have thought to yourself already, "I would certainly not let it get that bad." I'm sure that most if not all of the homeless population has thought the same thing at one time or another. But it's unfortunately not that simple. Imagine you are on a boating trip and your ship sinks. You are the only survivor, and you wash up on the beach of a deserted island. You have no form of communication, and the authorities presume you are dead along with everyone else on the boat. What do you do now, smart guy? The answer is simple. You shift gears. You turn your thoughts suddenly to survival, and that means finding shelter, food, and water immediately. With no lifelines, you are left on your own to fend for yourself. I think being homeless in the city is a lot like being stranded alone on an island and no one is looking for you. Even in the massive crowds you are alone, a persona non grata. When hardly anyone even acknowledges your existence, try not "letting it get that bad" then. It's even worse when you start out homeless - born into a family whose chances of living above the poverty line are slim to none:

source: New York City's Department of Homeless Services.

Your problems get even worse when you realize you have to deal with the government and the New York City cops.

Once you have given up much of your earlier hope of recovery, you may start to try avoiding your problems with alcohol and illicit substances. Here's where your situation gets really bleak. You are dirtier than you have ever been in your life. You may have any number of diseases but you don't know because you can't afford health care. You are sick almost constantly from the spoiled food you eat. You are always tired for lack of anywhere really comfortable to sleep for any length of time. Subway grates are warm, but not very inviting otherwise. Someone says to you, "Here, take a hit of this - it'll make your stomach feel like it's not eating itself anymore." So there you are in the woods in Central Park at 4:47 in the morning smoking crack cocaine. And compared to every other sensation in your life, crack is bliss. It's infinitely more satisfying than an ice cold 40 oz malt beverage, and you seem to be able to get your hands on it just as easily.

During my time in New York, I wanted at least a little taste of what it would be like to not have much of any hope, and actually beg for change in Columbus Circle. Finding a sign made of cardboard which read, "STRANDED: Need your help to get a bus ticket home to New Hampshire. PLEASE!" The Brian and I went to the gates to Central Park at Columbus Circle. I gave him everything I was carrying and he disappeard for a bit to take some photos while I tried my best to look disheveled sitting at the base of a large concrete pillar. I held out a McDonald's cup with some seed money in it and practiced a little method acting by trying to actually mentally put myself in the situation of the person who had made that sign. I must say it was pretty frightening just to pretend, and I must have been doing a fairly decent job because in 15 minutes, I made a whole quarter. The donor? A young man about my age, completely thugged out, not looking like much of a tourist at all. Others passed me, reading the sign, gawking, and whispering to themselves. An old woman said to her husband, "That must be scary." She didn't give me any money though.

Feeling a little guilty for deceiving people like that, and thinking that some of the people hanging out around that area were catching on to my shenangian, I decided I'd had enough and I packed up my sign and my $1.57 and walked furtively around the corner to meet the Brian and continue our journey. On the way back to the 6 4, I deposited the change I had in the McDonald's cup into the Dunkin' Donuts cup of an eldery homeless gentleman on Broadway. At least I didn't keep the money.

And the greatest American is...

2005-06-27T21:32:00.000-04:00

I have recently become slightly interested in the new Discovery Channel show Greatest American. The premise is simple: Take a bunch of influential, powerful, famous, and generally noteworthy Americans and let people dial in their votes for who is the best. Sounds like an okay idea, right? It is great idea for interesting television, and I'm sure it would have been a better idea if the good folks at the Discovery channel had thought of it first. Before we continue though, let's not get the Discovery Channel's pool confused with the BBC's bizarre greatest American poll which found Homer Simpson to win the overwhelming majority, beating out the next closest competitor, Abraham Lincoln by 37.5 percentage points. Granted it was an "online open poll," but really.

I'm willing to forgive that little bit of pseudo-plagiarism. The results of our contest here in the states are a little less than encouraging, so let's take a peek at the Canadian top five and look on, green with envy at the eclectic mix of progressive, liberal, and generally hardcore Canadians :

1. Tommy Douglas - A man born in Scotland who eventually became the premier of Saskatchewan and the "father of medicare." The CBC's website for the contest even reminds readers of Douglas' "socialist values." Bravo, Canada. Bravo.

2. Terry Fox - He's a real trooper He lost his leg to cancer (an osteogenic sarcoma) in 1977 and then began a quest to become the Canadian version of Forrest Gump by running across the continent. I was surprised to see an athelete this high up on the Canadian list, and furthermore that the top-ranked athelete was not Wayne Gretzky, who pulled in at a solid number ten. If you take a look at the American list again, our top athelete Lance Armstrong is hiding down at number 20, shamed by the likes of Oprah Winfrey (number 9), and Billy Graham (number 11.) You would think losing a testicle to cancer and then coming back to win five consecutive runnings of the Tour de France might put you a little higher on the list, but you'd be wrong. On a side note, check out Lance's new sponsor: Team Discovery Channel. "Here's a tip: put a pinch of sage in your boots and all day long a spicy scent is your reward!"

3. Pierre Elliott Trudeau - A revolutionary politician whose exploits include standardizing offical languages, rewriting laws on divorce, sexuality, and abortion, killing some terrorists, and swaying the Canadian public to stay united as the possibility of Quebec's separation loomed. He was so popular that the word, "Trudeaumania" was coined to describe the reaction he got when he went out in public:

"Teenage girls swooned and screamed at Trudeau's public appearances. A gang of middle-aged autograph seekers even chased him across the Parliament Hill grounds. "

4. Sir Frederick Banting - The man credited with the discovery of insulin, and the first Canadian winner of the Nobel Prize. Need I say more?

5. David Suzuki - This man is a shining example of what you will not find on the Greatest American list. Coming in at number five, this geneticist gained renown for his charisma and enthusiasm for educating people about important socio-scientific issues such as global warming and green ecology. He is even a big supporter of the Kyoto Protocol, which encourages usage of alternative energy sources in an effort to reduce emission of greenhouse gases. Looking back at the American list, you can see that Dr. Suzuki wouldn't exactly fit in next to George W. Bush - a Kyoto naysayer and surprise vote-getter who beat out Bill Clinton (number 7) and was edged by Benjamin Franklin and George Washington, (numbers 5 and 4, respectively.)

Lest we forget, Canada has its share of embarassing additions to their list as well. For example, Stompin' Tom Connors (number 13) beat out Neil Young (number 14) for some reason. And we can't let them off the hook for including Brett "the hitman" Hart (number 40) or Celine Dion (number 27) either. Let's not even talk about number 90, Bryan Adams.

For a brief comparison, here's the American top five. It's pretty much the usual suspects until we get to Dubya at number six and then the integrity of the whole list just crumbles.

1. Ronald Reagan
2. Abraham Lincoln
3. Martin Luther King Jr.
4. George Washington
5. Benjamin Franklin

Finally, let's not forget about our big brother, Great Britain. They had their own contest, finding Sir Winston Churchill to be the greatest Briton. Rounding out the list were other characters who might not have scored so high if they had been Americans: John Lennon, Oliver Cromwell, and Charles Darwin. Their list is unique, though, for having the most women in the top ten. Elizabeth I (number 8) and the late Princess Diana (number 3) were strong vote-getters. We don't see a woman on the American list until Oprah at number 9 who beat out such greats as Eleanor Roosevelt and Rosa Parks.

So check out the lists and let me know what you think. Any glaring omissions? Anything else strike you as odd? I know there are quite a few more shockers on the American list, so speak up. Who belongs and who should get the boot?

A funny little aside

2005-06-21T19:16:00.000-04:00

Here's a fun news article I found on Yahoo News about that always-kooky character Saddam Hussein. It refers to the high-larious article in GQ magazine called "Tuesdays with Saddam, " an aptly titled piece which is a compilation of first-hand experiences the Pennsylvania National Guardsmen had while speaking with him in prison.

From the Yahoo News Article:

"Saddam Hussein loves Doritos, hates Froot Loops, admires President Reagan, thinks Clinton was 'OK' and considers both Presidents Bush "no good." He talks a lot, worries about germs and insists he is still president of Iraq."

From GQ:

"Paco: "And Clinton was all right. He'd always say, '"The Cleenton, he's okay. The Bush father, son, no good.' "

If you read on, both articles have some highly interesting points, including this little blurb about marriage from the Yahoo piece:

"Saddam was friendly toward his young guards and sometimes offered fatherly advice. When O'Shea told him he was not married, Saddam "started telling me what to do," recalled the soldier. "He was like, `You gotta find a good woman. Not too smart, not too dumb. Not too old, not too young. One that can cook and clean.'"

Then he smiled, made what O'Shea interpreted as a "spanking" gesture, laughed and went back to doing his laundry in the sink."

This is a side of a World Leader I never thought I would see or hear about - ever (except for the obvious exception of Kim Jong Il, pictured below.)

In fact, he sounds nice enough to invite to a summer barbecue party, or cast on a situation comedy set in New York:

A new (old) diversion

2005-06-18T13:33:00.000-04:00

Welcome back to the land of Somerville, Mass. It has been a long week here. I've been working a lot, and have had little time for much else. I'll still give you the dirt on the "much else" part.

First of all, I have been spending more time with my roommate and our upstairs neighbors. I'm very pleased with the coolness factor of the new roommate, and we are planning on staying in the apartment we currently have for the next year. Auditions for third roommate to be held soon. The neighbors upstairs are fun to hang out with as well, and the whole building is coming together fairly nicely under one flag. There are only three apartments with three bedrooms each, so if I'm counting correctly, we have a united front of five residents who are all on the same wavelength. This number should grow soon, and my 20 Madison St. empire will grow along with my circle of influence.

Weekly Beer Update:

The blackberry porter brewed by Matt, Eric, and me is coming along pretty well. It has been in the bottles for about 2 weeks now, and I tested a sample yesterday. The carbonation is not to my liking, and there is still a bit of sedimentary material in solution with the beer, so back in my closet it will go for another week. Meanwhile, I undertook a brewing project on my own on Thursday. I brewed an English style bitter that I am thinking about flavoring with apricots. It started fermenting yesterday and should be ready for bottling in a week. It should be a lighter beer that will be a big change from the IPA and the porter.

Jeff Life Minutia:

It's been a while since I have been so glad to sleep late on a day off as I was on Thursday. After working 34 hours over the course of Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I was ready for a day of nothing. I think that might be the first sign that I am really starting to settle in here. On my days off, I no longer feel a big pressure to go out and see something new with every second of my time. It was so incredibly relaxing just to do nothing all day.

And so here I am, back at work. I have about 13 more hours to go today, and it will be time to go home and play a little Rome: Total War before bed. Yes I caved and "bought" a new copy, and yes, I know it will eat my life. But I just have to play as the Seleucids again, and then I can breathe easily. That game is like an old lover you never let go. She stays in the back of your mind, calling at your subconscious to come back. In your mind, everything is always perfect with her, and she is totally loving and devoted. But when you go back, things just aren't the same. You have changed, and she has moved on without you. That's when it really hurts: when you know you have been holding on to a phantom. Luckily, video games don't find other boyfriends.

The Blogger Revolution

2005-06-12T19:05:00.000-04:00

First and foremost, I would like to congratulate

Brian Crum on his successful entry into Blogdom with his awesome new blog entitled, "2106 Payne Ave." Cheers, Brian. Also, I know where you live!

I know it has probably been tough checking my blog recently with that long entry on the Davis Square jumper, but not to fear, more upbeat things are coming.

First and foremost, the beer adventure that I undertook with my Boston companions Eric Fox and Matt Lincoln is coming along nicely. Our first brew, an IPA we lovingly named "Nothing but Trub-Ale" is nearly gone. It was a fantastic success, and a great starter batch for the new homebrewing operation. The beer itself was an awesome reddish brown color with a light foamy head that stayed with the beer to the end of the glass. Overall, I think the whole endeavor was a success. In fact, in about a week now, we'll be able to enjoy the 48 bottles of thick, dark, highly alcoholic porter that we made a few weeks ago.

On the non-alcoholic front, I am getting back into a rhythm here in Somerville. After last week's incident which I wouldn't really care to relive, I'm feeling much better. I am, however, a little overworked. It's the beginning part of the week that really wears me down. Two doubles followed by an opening shift can make a guy pretty tired. At least the weather is cooling off here a bit.

Finally, there is a great possibility that I shall be traveling to Harlem, New York in the beginning of July for a brief visit with the Brian, a cellar master at the 21 Club.

In other news, my Artbeacon website has been updated with some new photos and options. More work on that front will be coming soon, so stay tuned.

For now I must return to seemingly endless work. Don't forget to follow all road signs, and have a Pabst for me.

Danger: Third Rail (or) The Man in the Yellow Shirt

2005-06-09T19:11:00.000-04:00

This morning was going to be boring. I had planned to take the red line train down to Harvard Square and eat lunch. From there, I would walk or ride the trains to wherever I felt might be interesting for the rest of the day. It was going to be a rather uneventful day, another Thursday off spent creating my own fun, wandering around, and generally being free. Unfortunately our plans don't always come to fruition.

At 11:30 this morning I left my apartment with my usual complement of wandering equipment which includes a backpack filled with a camera, notebook, and an umbrella. The weather was ominously pleasant, like the calm right before or after a great thunderstorm. The sky was overcast and a stiff breeze blew warm thick air in my face. I walked the twenty-five minutes down Highland ave to the Davis Square T station with anticipation and excitement for a day that was to be completely original and exciting. How right I would be.

At approximately 11:55 I arrived at the Davis Square T station, not one hundred meters from where I work. I grudgingly took the stairs all the way to the bottom of the station until I reached my usual spot on the platform. Near me, a man with a flute played "America the Beautiful," followed by the theme to "The Andy Griffith Show." A foreign man with a video camera took pictures of the station. He photographed me walking down the stairs to the platform before sweeping the gaze of his lens across the crowd of people and onto the signs on the walls. A girl in a black shirt was dutifully eating a large submarine sandwich, pacing up and down the platform.

There were more people in the station than normal today. While waiting for the inbound train, the gathering crowd grew impatient watching one outbound train after another fly through the station. Seven trains passed in the opposite direction before our train began to send rumbling and screeching sounds through the tunnel ahead, alerting us that it was on its way.

12:09 pm: The red line inbound to Ashmont peeked around a corner in the tunnel and began its entry into the station much to the relief of the one hundred or more waiting passengers. That sense of relief was quickly sent reeling into a growing feeling of shock, disbelief, and anxiety.
As the train pulled into the station like it had done thousands and thousands of times before without incident, something new and disturbing happened right before my eyes. A Man about forty in brown corduroy pants, a dark yellow t-shirt, and Converse One Stars said his final goodbye to this world in a gesture I will never forget. Seemingly out of nowhere, he ran across the platform and wasting no time as the train entered the station, performed a sawn dive onto the tracks, just one or two feet in front of the oncoming beast. The train ate him alive.

I can still see it happening: The train finally arrives and the man in the yellow shirt who has had too much of this world gets pummeled beyond recognition under its immense weight and momentum. The driver of the train slammed on the breaks, but it was too late. The man in the yellow shirt had jumped far too close to the front of the train, and there was no stopping it until he was well underneath the second car.

The silence in the station was incredible. Not many people had seen what had just happened, so they asked me. "Someone just jumped on the tracks... He's under the train now.... I think he's dead." Was all I could say. The paramedics, fire fighters, police, and MBTA authorities were quick to arrive and control the situation, but those who had been waiting for the train that was resting on that man were easier to move than sheep. No one could belive what had just happened. We all just left the station and dispersed.

On my way out, I remember hearing several people comment. "This isn't the first time," one girl said to me. "I need a drink - now," one man commented. "Oh my god is he okay?" they asked, but they all knew he wasn't. On the way up, I saw a girl crying, obviously in shock, talking on her cell phone, "I'm going to be late... [pause] ... no, it's worse than that."

I left the station needing badly to vomit, watching more than a dozen emergency workers run past me down into the abyss of the station where the man in the yellow shirt lie mangled beneath the immense weight of the red line train.

I didn't know what to do anymore. I had seen the train swallow someone whole. I needed a drink, so I stopped into work for a glass of whiskey. I sat down at the bar and realized I was shaking. The whiskey calmed me down enough to leave. Walking down Elm street, I found it hard to erase the image of the man in the yellow shirt plunging to his certain doom in the subway station. I bought some groceries and went home, trying to forget what had just happened, but it was to no avail. It's going to take some time to process this.

Sitting here, I keep wanting to think that what I saw was just part of some nasty dream, but the clarity of the image in my mind is too great to be fiction. I still have the three remaining subway tokens in my pocket (of the original four I had bought) for undeniable proof that I was there, that I saw that horrifying sequence of events unfold.

It was certainly an extraordinary day, but not in the way I had hoped. I can only try to forget about it all, but that isn't happening any time soon.

2005-06-07T22:43:00.000-04:00

So for you who so rabidly crave post after post on this site, I have a treat for you. While you may have been experiencing symptoms of withdrawl from my blog since I haven't posted in several days, there is a perfectly good explanation. My friend Amanda came up to visit! She had never been to Boston, so I thought we would get out and see the sights, as well as take in a few other not so touristy activities. This is one of the best pictures I got of us standing on the Charles River Esplanade (on the north side of the river.) The Esplanade is, for everyone else, a nice little walkway/bike path that runs the length of the more populous areas of the Charles River. It's a hot spot for runners, roller bladers, cyclists, and walkers. On a nice day such as this, the Esplanade is packed with lunatics flying down the path on one manner of locomotion or another. But it wasn't just walking around the city that filled our days. As you can read further down in the post, we took a four and a half hour whale watching cruise out near Cape Cod. It was a blast. We got to see a couple of whales and another unexpected creature. Plus it was just really fun to get out on a really fast boat and cruise the bay. So as my posts have gone, this should keep everyone occupied for a bit while I gather the strength, courage, and intestinal fortitude for a longer and more intelligent post. For now, enjoy the pictures, and thanks Amanda for the visit! It was great!

2005-06-07T22:34:00.000-04:00

Here's Weeks Bridge over the Charles River near Harvard. Amanda and I sat here for a bit before walking the length of the Esplanade: all the way down to Kendall Square where we got some of the most poorly made Dunkin Donuts fruit coolattas ever. * I just thought I'd put that part about the coolattas in because they are painfully easy to make and I was simultaneously amused and disappointed that someone could screw that up. What can you do though... It was fun anyway.

2005-06-07T22:31:00.000-04:00

One for the scrapbook: This is my offical 'token Boston skyline shot' for the post. I like this one a bit better than the others since it's a perspective that we land lovers rarely see. Plus the weather was amazing that day and the clear blue skies and sunshine provided an excellent backdrop for a crystal clear shot of the city and its reflection in the harbor.

2005-06-07T22:29:00.000-04:00

This was taken about five minutes after we departed the dock at Long Wharf. We're on the top deck of the boat here before the vessel started to really pick up speed. Once we got out onto the open water, we moved along at a nice clip - maybe 45 miles per hour or faster, and the top deck became far too cold and windy to stay.

2005-06-07T22:27:00.000-04:00

Here's one visitor we did see very clearly from the boat. He's a harbor seal, and he swam in the jetwash from the boat for about five minutes before moving along. The people on the boat were almost more interesting: clambering all over each other, freaking out almost, just to get a glimpse of the animal in its natural habitat.

2005-06-07T22:25:00.000-04:00

Though the whales almost entirely evaded my lens, this overly excited asian woman did not. She jumped up at every opportunity to take a picture with a zeal that far surpassed my own enthusiasm. I think it might have been the coffee. Look in her right hand - that's about her fourth cup in an hour.

2005-06-07T22:23:00.000-04:00

This is one of the views from the boat on the way back to the harbor. Those houses seem like nice places to live. I don't think I could ever sell enough crystal meth to live there.

2005-06-07T22:22:00.000-04:00

Since the ride back to Boston Harbor was far less exciting than the ride out, these annoying high school kids decided to make their own fun. This is right out in the open on the top deck of the boat. I thought I'd make their experience a little more embarassing by photographing them and posting their adolescent shenanigans on the internet.

2005-06-07T22:20:00.000-04:00

And thus concludes the story of Jeff and Amanda hanging out in Boston. I leave you with this parting shot of a fishing boat I took from the whale watching catamaran.

I'm working on my "link-whore" status.

2005-05-31T15:53:00.000-04:00

I know it has been a while since my last post. For that I am sorry.

But this guy:(alternate universe Jeff Kurz) probably isn't.

Maybe the other alternate universe Jeff Kurz can help me get a job:

It seems like he has a pretty good reputation with the Kurz Group:

Dunhill Partners
“I have known Jeff Kurz for over 25 years. Rarely have I shared such a solid, genuine and steadfast professional relationship with anyone. Year after year, their company has successfully kept our appraised commercial property values from skyrocketing by working effectively with local appraisal districts to keep our tax values as low as realistically possible.”

And lest, you forgot, alternate universe Jeff number three is also a widely respected professional politician in Upper Arlington, Ohio:

But I don't share my name with the just the geekiest of the geeks, I may even be a "movie mogul" in Milwuakee.

So that's what I've been doing recently: Google Image searching people's names. I know it's old hat, but every once in a while, it can be fun to see who else has your name. Just ask Paris Hilton.

It's a blast. DJ Jazzy Jeff thinks so:

I also noticed that my actual website Digital Silver (soon to be updated with all my Boston photos) comes up as the seventh result on a Google search for my name.

Soon I started using Google Image Search for other people's names:

Erin Miller: and a whole lot more than my name produced.

I almost fell out of my chair laughing at the result I got for Eric Fox:

I also did not know that Eric had once played for the Oakland Athletics.

Here's a result for a search on "Lauren Morris." Apparently she went to school in Oklahoma in Mr. Beatty's class.

One Colin O'brien's name turned up this most unfortunate result.

Finally... That guy is definitely not my dad!

2005-05-27T01:10:00.000-04:00

It's simply not economical to have a car up here. The trains are just as convenient, and it's not that big of a city. You can walk almost anywhere. That's why I passed up this awesome ad for a 1999 Ford Escort Lx 4D. It was tough, since the price was 2500$ (NEGO AVAIL)

2005-05-27T01:07:00.000-04:00

When I got to the Braintree station, I soon realized that there was nothing really interesting around, and they wanted an extra $1.25 for an exit fee, just to leave the station, I just decided to get on the train going in the opposite direction for free. Then I saw the face of Jesus in a puddle. Or maybe it's Satan. You be the judge.

2005-05-27T01:05:00.000-04:00

You don't see a lot of photos of these common things very often.

2005-05-27T01:03:00.001-04:00

It's just like I'm in a real city

2005-05-27T01:03:00.000-04:00

There's a lot of color happening in Downtown during a rainstorm at dusk.

2005-05-27T01:02:00.000-04:00

Guess what this is, and I'll send you a complimentary 4X5 postcard print of any of the photos on this site! Hint: It's not this

2005-05-27T00:59:00.002-04:00

Bikes in Central Square

2005-05-27T00:59:00.001-04:00

The city lies in the cold grip of my first Nor'easter. It hasn't stopped raining for almost a week.

2005-05-27T00:59:00.000-04:00

And these last two belong in the category, "Fun with a moving automobile at night"

2005-05-27T00:55:00.000-04:00

Bump in the road.

a response to the god-fearing chain emailers

2005-05-25T19:02:00.000-04:00

I have heard this question asked in response to the argument for evolution. This question pisses me off so completely with its blatant ignorance, that I am compelled to have an answer for it.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Easy: There wasn't one day in the history of evolution where all the apes just turned into homo sapiens. And the evolution of a new species from an existing one does not necessarily mean the extinction of the old one. That's not how evolution works. As certain types of apes evolved - really just developed different genetic mutations - the ones with teh favorable genetic changes were more able to survive, and therefore, to breed. Homo Sapiens, and before him, Homo Erectus, and before him, Australopithecus (and so on) all had evolutionary advantages that took them away from the rain forests and heavily wooded areas where apes and monkeys thrive. They developed the ability to walk upright - they key to their exit from the forest. There are many species of ape and monkey varieties, including us. The other ones just didn't develop the way we did. They were "genetically content" to remain in the forest. Why do you think there are so many different species on the planet? Because God put them there? Oh yeah, I forgot. Just like the "dinosaur bones" he put there to test our faith.

An analogy: If you one day decided to move away from your family to live in a new city far away and grew up to be a completely different person than you are now, that doesn't mean that your family back home has to die out.

Question number 4 is the kind of idiotic, narrow-minded response to evolutionary theory that I so abhor. It smacks of the cretinous thought processes of those who deal only in black and white, right or wrong, good and evil. It's that kind of logic that gets a species like ours into trouble - like the kind of trouble we're in right now as we live in our decaying American Empire ruled by such dogmatic and frankly foolish thought.

I think the more appropriate question to ask would be, "If we humans are so smart, why are we still dying of starvation, raping the environment, and killing each other over fossil fuels?"

Why don't you check out some reference material for my argument.

But don't go away just yet, watch for what this goofball is doing in New Mexico on my birthday.

And be sure to look into the works of one of my all-time heroes, a man truly dedicated to a life of reason. Bertrand Russel. I think his work, especially Why I am Not a Christian is particularly applicable to the debate over evolution and the cosmic unimportance of humanity.

This is for Matt Lincoln

2005-05-23T17:28:00.000-04:00

The Nippon Ham Fighters live on!

Plus, check out Nippon Ham's website complete with a kids' page with unintelligible flash animation.

Just a morsel of comedy until I find the energy for a longer post

2005-05-16T14:52:00.000-04:00

This is an excerpt from a truly brilliant site Overheard in New York.

Sorority girl #1: No, really, tanning is, like, my downfall.
Queer: Please, how often can you possibly tan?
Sorority girl #1: Constantly. I'm, like, a certified tanaholic. It's a real problem. Hey! Heather! What would you say my biggest addiction is?
Sorority girl #2: Um, I dunno...coke?

Awkward silence ensues.

--27th & Madison

Awesome. Check it out. And it looks like "Overheard in Boston" is about to become a reality soon as well.

Nonsensical Linkage. Read at your own displeasure.

2005-05-14T15:37:00.000-04:00

There has always been something I have wanted - something indescribable. I've had a longing for some way to complete myself, to make myself feel truly real and at my full potential. Something to say, "look out world, I've got spinning teeth." And now I've found it.

More interestingly, I finally got cable and internet back on in my house here. It had been a seriously long and boring week without those two friends, but they are back in full force. Hopefully I won't get too lulled into the old brain-blender goo-ifier that is mass media and I can finish the new book I'm reading, Timequake, by Kurt Vonnegut. Read the review. The first ten chapters have been awesome so far and I'm looking forward to finishing it. Maybe tomorrow afternoon...

Another set of pictures for you to look at and not read the text.

2005-05-12T23:18:00.000-04:00

Thursday. It was my day off today. I didn't know what to do since Matt Lincoln had gone to Ohio for the weekend, and my other friends were M.I.A. So naturally I decided to wander around and take pictures. And also get a haircut. The first place I stopped was Harvard Square. "There must be something going on there," I thought. It turns out I was right. After cruising the block for a bit, finding a barbershop, getting a truly awesome haircut, and eating at an Indian lunch buffet, I was back in the center of the Square. Much to my surprise and delight, these guys had set up and were playing some awesome jazz. I stayed to listen for about an hour and a half until they were done. In the process I checked up with Mike Felger (props, Mikey) and gave these guys a few bucks for being so awesome as to entertain me for a bit. Then as you can see as you scroll down, I did some more wandering around. It was all semi-interesting, but it might have been more fun with a traveling comapanion. At the end of the day, I stoppped in the Somerville Theatre to see Melinda and Melinda, the new Woody Allen film. Not to jump into a full review, I'll just say this: Dear Melinda and Melinda, you were kinda funny, and you had Will Ferrel and Chloe Sevigny, so I'll give you that, but your cousins Annie Hall, Zelig, and Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* But Were Afraid to Ask are so much cooler. And there you have it. I left feeling I needed a drink, so I stopped of at Downtown Wine and Spirits for some Guinness, and well whaddya know, here I am, typing a blog entry. I hope you enjoy the pictures and my antics. Until the next time. Let us all keep it real.

2005-05-12T23:06:00.000-04:00

After wandering around for some time, I decided it might be a good idea to sit down and rest on the Esplanade. That's the long walkway that goes right along the Charles River basin on the north side. It's where all the MIT and Harvard kids come to rollerblade up and down. It is also home to a ton of sailing and yacht clubs, so generally it's a nice place to relax for a bit. Sitting on a bench, I took this token wide angle shot of downtown Boston through sailboat masts. Neat, huh?

2005-05-12T23:03:00.000-04:00

I was bored so I walked all the way down Mass Ave to Kendall Square. On my journey I saw this little Gehry-esque architectural gem near Mass Ave and Gallileo Gallilei drive. Yes, that's the actual street name. (Those cocky technology-loving Kendal Square jerks! ::shakes fist::)

2005-05-12T23:00:00.000-04:00

Here's a view that fascinated me. Right on Broadway in the middle of Cambridge - near Kendall Square, this building with reflective windows distorts the image of the old brick building across the street.

2005-05-12T22:59:00.000-04:00

The last place I stopped today was this little oddity near Kendall Sqaure in Cambridge. Six stories above the MIT Co-op bookstore and food court lies a perfectly manicured garden of all things. Mind you, this is on top of a building in downtown Cambridge. There was no one there, also, so I had the place to myself. The sun was shining, the breeze was blowing; I couldn't have asked for more. After I finished my snack up there, I took the Red Line T from Kendall Square to freaking Quincy Center - just for fun and because I could get off the train there and ride all the way home with no extra charge. For those who don't know (which included me until today) Quincy is pronounced "quin-zee," and it's hella far away from Davis Square where I live. It was a nice train ride though, I must admit.

2005-05-12T22:54:00.000-04:00

And here's the little jaunt I took to the Red Sox game on Sunday. Late Saturday night, a guy in the bar pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to buy face value tickets for the game the next day. Since that night's game had been rained out and rescheduled for the next day, he wouldn't be able to make it. So naturally, I bought the tickets. Here's the view from my seat in the center field bleachers. Not exactly what you might call a luxury seat, but a seat in Fenway Park for a Red Sox game. Enough said. It was cold and damp and generally shitty weather too, but still - Red Sox.

2005-05-12T22:51:00.000-04:00

The weather looked like it sincerely did not want to cooperate. Though it stayed cold, windy, and damp through the whole game, it never actually rained.

2005-05-12T22:50:00.000-04:00

I wonder how I could be one of these guys. Not that standing out in the clod and damp weather for hours is especially exciting, but check out that guy's camera! I think those two on the far right with the enormous lenses were primarily there to cover Ichiro though. Just a guess.

2005-05-12T22:48:00.000-04:00

And the last good news is that the Sox did pull off a 6-3 win. Here's Keith Foulke striking out the last Mariner hitter... whoever the hell that loser is.

A brief post before getting back to stinkin work.

2005-05-10T21:22:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I'm at work. Still no cable at home, so that means no internet. The combination of those two things is absolutely killing me. When I go home, I'm essentially cut off from the outside world. I thought I was going to completely lose it Sunday night when I was the only one home with nothing to do and no one to call all night. I know it may sound pretty pathetic to be so dependent on TV and the internet, but since I hardly know anyone in this city, those two vices have staved off many a panic attack. Anyway, I work tonight until 11 which isn't terrible. I work from 10:00 am to 11:00pm tomorrow, which is. Luckily though, I have all day Thursday off and I only have to work in the morning on Friday. Then after the requisite Saturday night closing shift, I have all Sunday off to bullshit around and probably make more beer.

I'm settling into a routine here. It's certainly comforting to have a schedule and know the area a little better, but I sincerely miss my core group of friends from Southwestern Ohio (and you too Liz.) I always took for granted the ability to just call up any number of friends just to hang out on short notice. No such luck here. It's way harder to find people to hang out with, and further, build a new core group. Being the boss at work makes that even harder because there are a lot of cool people here that I'd love to hang out with, but I can't or I'll get in trouble with my boss. DAMMIT!

Anyway, now that I've spent 20 minutes on this, I think it's time for me to go. Be sure to check back for pictures from the Red Sox/Mariners game I went to on Sunday (once I get my internet connection working at home.)

Peace in the middle east!

Not much going on, but I'm still here.

2005-05-06T15:16:00.000-04:00

As the title suggests, there isn't too much to write about today. It's another day at work as usual. Yesterday I had the day off and decided it would be a great idea to stink up the entire apartment by making beer all afternoon. It was the coolest thing I've done in a while and I can't wait to make more. Matt Lincoln and I started drinking and boiling up a huge vat of beer around 3:30 and didn't stop until it was ready to ferment - about four hours (and six beers each) later. I had bought the kit from Modern Brew Warehouse on Mass. Ave. in Cambridge which is surprisingly close to my house. It was super cheap, and the ingredients were free because I had a coupon. The yield for this batch will be right around 5 gallons. That's about 53 12oz bottles for the mathematically challenged. So the net upshot is a whole bunch of really cheap beer. And if you're worried about quality - the ingredients I bought are as fresh as possible, and Matt and I followed the directions to the letter. In the end, I should have a killer IPA in about 3 to 4 weeks. Once I bottle this beer for bottle conditioning, I'm going to make another batch, so watch out everyone who comes to visit me, you're going to get loaded up on free homemade beer!

Other than that day of fun, I've been pretty boring lately. Just lots and lots of work, followed by lots and lots of sleep. I don't have cable or internet at home, so being there is really exceptionally boring. Maybe tonight I'll venture out somewhere since I get off work at 5:00 and there will still be plenty of daylight left for doing something. Then again, I may end up going to bed early because I feel a touch of a cold coming on, and I have a loooong day at work tomorrow and I want to be somewhat fresh for that.

Until next time, peace be with you.

I'm never drinking again...

2005-05-03T13:24:00.000-04:00

Of course we all know that's not true. However, judging by how I feel today, I'm definitely not drinking so much vodka again. The sad part is that last night over the course of three hours, I only had five drinks. These were five FREE drinks, so they went down a lot more easily... Just as easily as my delicious chicken sandwich just came up.

Where was I drinking, you ask? Yesterday - Monday night - I attended the Boston launch party for the new Absolut vodka flavor - "Apeach". It was one of the most completely absurd things I have ever seen. And I don't use the word 'absurd' lightly here. That party had to have been planned by people on some serious hallucinogenic drugs. But it was all free, so of course I took advantage. Let's take a look back at some of the things that made this event such a display of insanity.

The location: The Arts for Humanity Epicenter. The place is a really interesting art gallery built in the industrial side of Boston's south end, or Southie, as people call it. I thought I was in the wrong place on the way to the party. Literally every other building in the area is a warehouse - desolate on Monday night. Then, out of the pitch black and silent night comes the huge club sound system and laser light display that was fueling the party.

The invitation: Here was something that made me feel really cool. Yesterday the sales rep for Horizon Beverage gave me the invite for the party. It required me to RSVP for the thing, so I called the number on the back. The recording on the voice menu told me to stay on the line for a representative and to "surrender to apeach." Finally, the little card didn't even tell you where the party was. I had to ask. All the card said was, "Location: Juicy." That should have tipped me off to the absurdity I was to experience later.

The setup: Six bars all pumping out free drinks scattered the floor of the gallery which had been completely emptied and redecorated with Absolut Vodka stuff. Most of the bars were pretty normal kind of banquet bars, but the main bar was a sight to behold. Imagine a two story scaffold draped in peach colored shiny fabric. At either side of the structure, two booths made of semi-opaque peach colored plexiglass contained dancers. I couldn't see inside them completely, but there were seriously girls who got paid to dance around inside these booths all night just as part of the bar. The bar itself was a little odd too. At the bottom, there was a countertop with a bunch of martini glasses and garnishes, attended by two girls wearing headsets. You gave them your drink order and they called it up to the girls at the top of the scaffold who mixed the drinks and then poured them down through tubes into glasses. Did I not say this place was absurd?

The happenings: The place was filled with what seemed to be Boston's most beautiful people. Tons of guys in Armani suits and chicks who looked like total sluts lined the walls and filled the dance floor. I bet they were wondering how a regular Joe-Average like me got in there. People were mingling, getting trashed, getting coked up, and generally getting pretty loose. Walking around the party was a guy with a digital video camera recording people having a good time - and the video was fed to a huge projection monitor on the wall. In addition to the DJ who was operating one of the most high-tech sets of equipment ever, there were two guys whose job it was to sort of "DJ" the light show that was going on. They controlled various projections, lasers, and for some reason a game of Unreal Tournament that was being displayed on the gallery wall. Later on, people started breakdance fighting. I shit you not.

On the way out, they handed me a bag of Absolut promotional material which included a deck of cards, a t-shirt, and a stupid baseball hat which I promptly donned and wore all the way home.

Looking back on the whole experience, I am frankly amazed that there are people in the world who get paid to plan and execute these sorts of shenanigans. I'm just glad to have gotten a little taste of the world people with more money than me live in. I'll take my quiet evenings at home nine times out of ten though.

At work, contemplating wireless woes.

2005-05-01T11:34:00.000-04:00

If you haven't seen me in a while, there's a good reason. Well, there are two good reasons. First, I have been at work almost constantly - 48.5 hours this week (and every week I am to assume.) Also, I have been struggling with my wireless internet connection at home. We finally got a new cable modem and broadband service at home, but it has been frustrating trying to set up the wireless network so that we can have at least some sort of data encryption and simultaneously allow my roommates to access it. I had it all working last night. It was humming along, and... well to spare you the details, it doesn't work now - for anyone. So I have that to deal with when I get home today from another long day at work. Mind you, I have been here since 9:30 this morning, and I am none too happy about it.

The good news is that you can still reach me at my new email account or by phone. I can check the email at work, and my phone, though still TAPED together, works just fine.

I know this is short, and I'm sorry I don't have any pictures today, but like I said, it has been busy. Hopefully the weather will be nice on Wednesday and I can go do something interesting with that day. We shall see...

Keep in touch, guys.

Jeff out.

The Sunday evening news

2005-04-24T19:05:00.000-04:00

I'm glad to see people have been reading the blog! Here's what's new:

I'm into my third week at the Joshua Tree now. They've decided to make me the assistant general manager (why I don't know). But it means a bit more money and whatnot, plus it's pretty neat to tell people what I do. I am however, not particularly enjoying restaurant work. Don't get me wrong, the money and the perks are great, but I feel like I could be so much more useful in a more creative job. Therefore, I have decided to go back to school... for what I'm not sure. My ultimate goals are yet unclear. I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up.

Here are some points of interest (since I lack the creativity to write continuously right now)

This is what I've been looking at recently. First, David Szondy's Website particularly the section about "Tales of Future Past" has been a great way to eat away my time. It's a quite extensive collection of historical materials relating to "what the future would bring." My next project is to use The Rasterbator to make a huge poster for the east wall of my room. If you are willing to piece together a giant puzzle on your wall, check that site out, it is well worth it - but don't use an inkjet printer!

Props to Eric Johnson for turning me back on to WOXY and their new HiFi stream. It's pretty much all I listen to nowadays. It seems like the station has gotten even better now that it's an internet-only broadcast. I just heard Belle and Sebastian, Echo and the Bunnymen, The Hives, and The Smiths in the last hour.

If you haven't seen this ridiculous web animation, A New Bunny it's worth 5 minutes of your time. Be warned though, it contains some serious adult language.

The best thing of all though is the events at The Harvard Film Archive. They show one or two movies every day, and sometimes the directors or professors give talks before and after the film. I'm a little upset that I missed the "Films of Alan Renais week at the archive, but If I can make it, I'm going to see Bright Leaves by Ross McElwee on Tuesday. The whole thing sounds so awesome that I might even spend a day a week volunteering with them. Perhaps I can make some contacts for further education in film...

Finally, I wish to announce that my phone is again operational. Though it is taped together, it works. I get a new free phone in July, so this one will have to hold until then. Either way, I'm back to full communications capacity, so fire away!

2005-04-21T14:03:00.000-04:00

Now to make everyone jealous, here is how I spent my Wednesday. I went down to North Station (A part of the former Fleet Center and now Bank North Garden) to catch a train northward. With a little luck, and a bit of a walk, I ended up here - at Singing Beach. They call it that because of the strange squeaky noise that the sand makes as you walk on it. Either way, this place was amazing. A typical northeastern beach with majestic rock formations and cool clear water, I couldn't have asked for anything better. Even the weather was a warm 80 degrees and as you can see, extremely clear and sunny. I spent the majority of the afternoon here just wandering around, taking pictures and reading a book. For those of you who are considering visiting me here, just remember that these beaches are all over the place here, and it's a quick trip to many of them. Anyway, enjoy these latest photos, and look forward to another post in a day or two. Also, if you have been trying to reach me on the telephone, don't worry if I haven't gotten back to you - my phone isn't working right now, so you can get me with email or watch for me on IM.

2005-04-21T13:44:00.000-04:00

This is the widest angle shot I could get of the beach where I spent my day. It wasn't terribly crowded as you can see, but I'm sure this place gets packed in the height of the summer season

2005-04-21T13:43:00.001-04:00

The surf-pounded and seaweed-covered rocks that line the beach on the north and south sides look a bit like this up close. They are a perfect place to observe nature in action - like that one-legged bird there, hunting for food, or the thousands of tiny shellfish that live amongst the seaweed. See the picture below.

2005-04-21T13:43:00.000-04:00

An extreme close-up of what every 'green' rock on the beach looks like - home to these little guys.

2005-04-21T13:39:00.000-04:00

Looking out at the Atlantic Ocean, I am reminded again of what a rocky beach Manchester has. That "island" there is deceiving - it is really no bigger than a semi truck. In the foreground, even though the water was frigid, there were idiots all over the place running into the water, and throwing tennis balls out into the surf for their dogs to fetch.

2005-04-21T13:36:00.000-04:00

There were houses on those huge rock formations overlooking the beach from between pine trees. It must be nice to live there... except for the people.

2005-04-21T13:35:00.000-04:00

So, how did you spend your Wednesday?

2005-04-14T12:48:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went to Salem, Mass. If you don't know anything about Salem, you didn't go to elementary school in America. People up there thrive on a tourist industry based on the whole "Witch Trial" thing, and it makes them a ton of money. This is the Derby House. I picked it for the first photo of Salem because it typifies the architecture of the city. This is one of the oldest buildings in Salem (in fact the oldest brick house.) I didn't get much of a history on the rest of the buildings in town, but houses like this are everywhere, and not just as museums. To the right of the photo is actually someone's house. Overall, Salem was an interesting place, though I would have liked to see more of the stuff that was closed for the season. It's a fun day trip that is well worth the $7.50 train ride north. I'll be going back, but not before I explore the Commuter Rail a bit more. More on that later, but for now, enjoy these photos of my trip to Salem.

2005-04-14T12:42:00.000-04:00

My first stop in Salem, purely by chance, was the Burying Point. It claims to not only be the oldest burying ground in the city, but some people will tell you it's the oldest in the country. It was a neat place though. Walking around it, you can tell that people were not big into creating ridiculous monuments in the 17th century. Some of the oldest gravestones are just that - stones that people found lying around and used for marking graves. Overall, a pretty neat place. Next door is the Salem Witch trial memorial, which is just a little green space with some stone benches, on each of which is inscribed with the name and method of execution of someone who died at the hands of those running the trials. Also nearby were the Wax Museum (of Witches and Seafarers) and the New England Pirate Museum. Both places were closed - a big disappointment.

2005-04-14T12:37:00.000-04:00

The burying point with just about an hour of daylight left. I was walking around the place trying to avoide being seen taking this next ridiculous photo.

2005-04-14T12:36:00.000-04:00

Here I am, searching for clues.

2005-04-14T12:34:00.000-04:00

Here's a token shot of the old Salem Town Hall. There is a big open mall behind that building and to the right where a bunch of interesting little shops and whatnot reside. To the left, there is a shop that specializes in models of ships. How does that place stay in business?

2005-04-14T12:32:00.000-04:00

I believe this is Derby Street in Salem. There is a very large historic district in Salem, and you can find these old brick houses and cobblestone streets all over the place mixed in with some newer architecture.

2005-04-14T12:30:00.000-04:00

On my walk out to the pier in the Salem Harbor, I walked past the "Friendship of Salem," a replica of an old international sailing ship that they have parked in the harbor like the Constitution is in Boston. It was closed, so I didn't go aboard.

2005-04-14T12:28:00.001-04:00

I walked out into the harbor on this pier. It was a nice walk that took me out to where I could see the ocean in the distance and some fishing boats in the water. It was bloody cold though.

2005-04-14T12:28:00.000-04:00

You can tell from my face just how cold it was out there. Behind my head is the Atlantic Ocean

2005-04-14T12:26:00.000-04:00

As I walked out into the harbor, the sun was setting over the city of Salem

2005-04-14T12:25:00.000-04:00

The moon rising over the little lighthouse at the tip of that long walkway into the Salem Harbor

2005-04-14T12:24:00.000-04:00

On my way out of Salem, I stopped again at the Burying Point and Witch Trial memorial to take pictures in the dark. Spooky.

2005-04-14T12:22:00.000-04:00

A profile from the Commuter Rail train on the way home from Salem.

2005-04-14T12:21:00.001-04:00

Here's what I'm looking at in that last picture

2005-04-14T12:21:00.000-04:00

Here I am waiting for the Green Line trolley from North Station to Park Street where I'll pick up the Red Line home. This is one of my favorite subway stations, just for the architecture.